A little scribble with no ending

Sometimes I wonder by going home would it be a better thing to do though it would be like losing a personal battle to choose comfort above anything else.

Back home...

A typical weekend could be hanging out with close friends having a chat over coffee and cakes in the alfresco shielded from the baking summer.

Or a tan by the beaches in Sentosa.

Or roller blading by the endless stretch of East Coast Park. Stopping to have an ice cold sugar cane juice with lemon by the hawker mid way. Enjoying the nice warm breeze congratulating my efforts.

Or evening meals with family, being adventerous, trying out all sorts of cuisine.

How many shoes and bags can a girl have?

MANY! MANY!

But a girl can never have too many. I certainly don't. *Looks away from gazes*

*Changes topic*

After coming home from a busy and exhausting week at work I decided to have a nice relaxing evening. So how would one relax? Like watching the tele? Neh, done too much of that the past couple nights. Like reading a book or comic? Well... I do have the Watchmen comic Dan loan me to complete before the movie's out early March! Wish me luck peeps.

Well... Do you know that counting can actually be very theraputic. I'm about to let you on one hell of a counting experience. So to relax a bit, I decided to dig out that big box of bags from my cupboard and started counting.

"Oh! I didn't remember I had this bag. It's beautiful. Oh and this one too."

Pulling out a lime green tote bag, I squealed,"This one will be perfect for summer!" It feels like I've found a chest of treasure. Ha.

MY BAGS

Sling bags

17

Wrist pouches

4

Shoulder/tote bags

15

Pouches/makeup cases

7

Clutch/party bags

6

Foldable bags

2

Hand(held) bags

2

Waist pouch

1

Backpacks

2

TOTAL

56

Shocking? Wait till you hear about the next part...

Then I went on to count the number of shoes I have.

MY FOOTWEAR

Flip flops

2

Sneakers/trainers/sports

8

Boots

10

Flat pumps

8

Lower pumps (nicer, smarter)

5

Heels

4

Open toe slips

4

Sandals

7

TOTAL

51

Just as shocking! I picked out 4 pairs of shoes that I'm gonna recycle. So that leaves with 47. Hmm...

Remember... A girl can never have too many of bags and shoes. And accessories! And clothes too! Think I'm very relaxed now. I'll leave the clothes and accessories till next time.

Clearing up my mess

Okay... Here goes my first blog of the year.

I've not been blogging for ages and it's not hard to tell either. Haha. I should really get back into this now that I've settled into my new adobe and even managed to get my own broadband installed. So there, no more excuses of not blogging!

Having a messy environment makes one feels messy, for me at least. So to start it off, during lunch at work I started to clear away the jumble on my desk. I recycled old copies of newspapers and print out. Also put away a whole stack of free weekly shortlist magazines. They've been longing for my fingers to flip through their pages and I shall within the privacy of my own bedroom!

With my office mess more or less curbed, my bedroom is next on the list. Looks like I've found my mission tonight.

Mess today, gone tomorrow!

Information architecture

I was having an enjoyable chat with Laura earlier on in the evening about this new internal website project that I am currently involved with at work (which is rather a refreshing change from the normal work bore). And also how I would be keeping notes of most of the things I do day-to-day, like which movies did I catch, whom I met up with or will be meeting, and (recently) my room hunting viewings, oyster card expiry dates, etc. in my schedule. Yes I'm old fashion rather than keep a plam top or blackberry. I'm doing the planet good by recycling paper (that made my scheduler) and reducing my carbon footprint from charging my devices. Excuses! Yeah yeah. whatever.

I must say she was rather impressed at how organised I am with all my planning and jotting. Well, of course I beg to differ but a nice compliment every now and then does feel good. *smirks* She said I'm exceptional as she pointed out not everyone keeps track of their daily lives like this. I'm a perfectionist I have to admit, it's a diease I can't kill. Everything has to be pefect or at least in order otherwise I could end up being in some kinda weird cranky mood if they don't go my way. Oh yes, you don't wanna go that way with me. You don't know me! Guess that's partly why I'm mostly miserable and greatly depressed of late with so many issues going on in live for me. I've been knocked off my chair and it's been really hard trying to get back on as it wasn't on my agenda. Hopefully after sorting out my current lodging suitation - which somehow had quite a twist of lemon added in from the landlord which I shan't go into - I'll be able to get on track and start being the perfectionist I am again. Back on the chair. I would require alot of money to sort this out I foresee. (Not bribery you silly)

Well as I was saying, I was having my enjoyable chat with Laura, yah dah yah dah dah, she suggested that I should move on and try specialising in a specific field in my line of job as she can tell that I really have fun and enjoy doing these bits of (website) organising and planning stuff. And presto - Information Architeture - that's what I should go into. She also said that I'm not using my (many) hidden talents at all and since this is a fairly new field in the industry and on demand for it will be a good milestone. I think I could look into that next year! Something to add to my resolution perhaps? Apart from trying to learn french of course which just got thrown out of the window after a few months' of lessons. Shame on me! And I barely remember how to speak it now.

Oh well, guess going down the information architecture line does sound visible and a good challenge. It's time I know what I wanna do in my line of job! And even get to enjoy it (hopefully). This will definately be on my agenda. You better watch out! You better not cry! 'Cause I'm telling you why! Information architeture is coming to town!

So what is Information Architecture?
As wikipedia would say:
Information architecture (IA) is the art of expressing a model or concept of information used in activities that require explicit details of complex systems. Among these activities are library systems, Content Management Systems, web development, user interactions, database development, programming, technical writing, enterprise architecture, and critical system software design. Information architecture has somewhat different meanings in these different branches of IS or IT architecture. Most definitions have common qualities: a structural design of shared environments, methods of organizing and labeling websites, intranets, and online communities, and ways of bringing the principles of design and architecture to the digital landscape.

Sounds cool? Here's more if you're keen to read on.
http://www.skillset.org/interactive/careers/profiles/article_4749_1.asp

Definately something I'll try to look into next year (once my lodging hoo haa is sorted). Wish me luck folks!

All is not lost!

ALL IS NOT LOST!

PHEW!

Terrible things

[18:17] Pea: i wanna shake the world at its neck
[18:17] Pea: *shake shake shake*
[18:17] Potatoe: world got no neck
[18:17] Potatoe: its round
[18:18] Pea: that's why i can't even do that
[18:18] Potatoe: u gotta kick his balls
[18:18] Pea: haa
[18:18] Pea: if i kick the balls will it work better?
[18:18] Potatoe: maybe it will say ouch haha
[18:19] Pea: just ouch
[18:20] Pea: ok i will kick it a couple of times.
[18:20] Pea: make it shout a few ouches
[18:20] Potatoe: maybe it will be blue black
[18:20] Pea: but.. isn't the world supposed to be a SHE?
[18:20] Potatoe: erm the one i know of is a he
[18:20] Potatoe: maybe the one u know is a she
[18:21] Potatoe: she has a tough life, needs to make babies
[18:21] Pea: lol
[18:22] P0tatoe: he just sleeps around easy life
[18:23] Pea: sucker!

One of my many enjoyable msn conversations with my beloved potatoe.

This year my emotional state is like a roller coaster and poor Dan has to endure the "fun" and "thrills" of it. I get terrible and extreme mood swings. Things haven't been going well lately - work; coping with financial suitation; house rental/hunting issues - twice within a year; being ill again right after recovering from one; etc. I'll just mention one for now. It may seem minor to you but it means the world to me (on top of everything else that's been happening) - for now at least. (It might go away after a night's sleep)

Just when I've decided to brace myself for the new challenges to face, trying to induce myself with positiveness outlook, I got crumbled. Negativeness hits.

I had been so preoccupied that I'd actually forgotten to renew my web hosting and domain name services. They expire on 2nd November of every year (if I keep to the same provider that is) and it slipped my mind to renew it which I only just did. Hopefully my website/files (which I haven't backed up the latest copy) will be retrievable once my payment has been approved.

It seems 2008 doesn't feel like a very good year though the number "2008" looks nice. How deceiving. May 2009 be better.

I have to try inject some anti-negativeness into me!

*shake shake shakes the world at its neck (even if it doesn't have any)*

Movember

Here's my movember badge (for making a small donation) in support of Dan growing a mo for November.

What is Movember?

Movember (the month formerly known as November) is a charity event held during November each year. At the start of Movember guys register with a clean shaven face. The Movember participants known as Mo Bros then have the remainder of the month to grow and groom their moustache and along the way raise as much money and awareness about male health issues as possible. If you'd like to donate to show some support you can vist the mo site now and start donating via credit card or pay pal. Remember a little goes a long way. https://www.movember.com/uk/donate/donate-details.php?action=sponsorlink&rego=1456376&country=uk

Resolutions

Why wait for new year to set our resolutions?

I'm gonna set myself 5 resolutions now!

1] sleep earlier
2] spend when only necessary
3] start saving
4] eat more healthly
5] get into (bikram) yoga

Easy they may seem but it takes alot of effort and determination! Wish me the best of luck folks!

10 questions to ask men

Well well well.. the past couple of months had been quite a whirlwind. Lotsa ups and downs, ups and downs. Ups and downs. Very tiring. Amidst the gloomy times, there's still the occassional beams of sunlight shinning through. All is not lost yet though I am kinda very much homesick. It's not fair that I get to have so much fun here without my lovely friends back home to share those moments with. Sigh. But I'll be going home soon! Yay! Though only for a short week, it'll be worth it! If only I could be home for a bit longer.

Lovely view of the summer sky in my London neighbourhood

I now have new flatmates and they are wonderful and lovely people! It's been really enjoyable and much more a home now with them. We have so much fun together. We cook together, we joke together, we help give each other fashion tips together, we watch dvds together, we invite friends over and have a good laughter over a nice home cooked meal together. "We have to do this more often!" We kept repeating to one another. Just tonight we invited a friend over, all girls night of food and fun. I made us some oven baked chicken that had been marinated with soya sauce and oyster sauce. Samina made a lovely sweet potato and spinach curry which we all loved and couldn't get enough of. Franziska made some german speciality from potates which was just as yummy. Went well with the chicken which was mmm mmmm mmm... And there was rice with veggies too. As for dessert we had chocolate moose with ice cream and amaretto. Sweet. Oh no... You can never go without a dessert after a great meal. Not when you're with us!

Not sure if it was the food or the alcohol (we had some rosé and red wine too), but we decided to come up with 10 questions to ask men in the middle of our convesations. We were laughing while thinking up the questions or rather answers and at the same time trying to concentrate on our devouring our meals. Yes, I admit, we are rather ambitious women.

So here goes. Listen up you men out there, it's time to answer some 10 questions now! (Dan, you too. Lol)

10 questions to ask men

Q1 When you see boobs what do you think of?
1] milk
2] melons
3] support and comfort
4] sexual pleasures

Q2 When you are running, what do you feel in your lower region?
1] tennis balls
2] cotton balls
3] swinging sensation
4] squashing

Q3 Does underwear matter?
1] Bridget Jones (granny pants)
2] nothing is best, less is more
3] body suit
4] ann summers

Q4 If you really like someone how soon would you contact her?
1] immediately
2] after 1 day
3] after 5 days
4] after a month

Q5 How old do you think you'll need to be to get married?
1] early 20s because the first one for life
2] 30s, had all the fun and can do without it
3] age doesn't matter, just when it feels right
4] commitment, what is commitment?

Q6 What boobs size do you like?
1] a pinch
2] a handful
3] 2 footballs and I'm happy
4] I like suffocation

Q7 What do you like your girl to taste like?
1] burger
2] beer
3] cherry
4] chocolate

Q8 What would be the most romantic moment?
1] fish and chips and a pint
2] going to a football match together
3] a box of chocolates and a bunch of roses
4] watching the sunrise together

Q9 How intelligent does she need to be?
1] blonde bimbo in a pink track suit
2] in an apron (motherly)
3] like to look through her smudgy glasses in a dusty library
4] up the ladder (power bitch)

Q10 Fu*k these questions...
1] I just want to get laid
2] I just want to get laid and see how goes
3] I just like her
4] I just love her for the way she is

Current state of mind

I'm feeling very fragile at the moment. My heart is frail. I can't breathe and I might just break down any second. I feel like running away again. Crying non-stop for a period of time doesn't seem to pacify that feeling anymore. I need something else. I need a break - to run off into the wind. Whispering into the wind my worries and let it be carried away into the far distant, let it run away with the wind instead.

Tears of Joy

Norah Jone's "Don't know why" is playing in the background. I like having her music to chill out to. I'm in a mellow mood now. Calm. Smiling to the soothing music (only to be ending up sobbing later on down the blog as I blogged). The past month or so had been quite a nightmare, I had a load on my mind and they still are. Things have been rather too much to bear. I feel worn out. However I'm trying to relax and assure myself that everything will be alright if I take it a step at a time. I can be brave and strong again if I really try hard enough. Where has the old Angela gone to? I need her back!

Earlier on I stayed back late at work, not to do over time on a Friday night but instead to chat with my veggie friends, Potatoe (Trixy), Mushroom (Joy) and Aubergine (Adeline). Unfortunately Winter Melon (Syndy) couldn't be present. Oh man, how much I've missed the girls! And it's been ages since we last had a group chat like this online together. We're all over the world now. It was really great catching up and listening to each others lives and sharing experiences like how we would normally do at our many past gatherings. Guess internet's the best cyber hangout place for now. Till we all meet again to be able to see each other smile and laughing together, I'll be waiting, looking forward to that one day. I miss my good old veggie babes. Definately. Absolutely. Yes. It makes me sad not being able to hang out with them.

Last night I was looking at photos from Joy's trip with her boyfriend and his family in Orlando. They looked happy. She looking so happy just brought tears of Joy (pun intended) to my eyes. I'm so happy for her and yet so sad because it suddenly brought back fond memories of those happy times we had hanging out together since our polytechnic days to when we last met up back home. Oh my, and it just dawn upon me that it's exactly a decade this July that we've known each other. How time flies. How mocking life can be. I'm glad we are still in contact with one another though being thousand of miles apart.

Perhaps I'm the sort of emotional type. Getting worked up easily. I had a chat with Joy on skype while I was walking to Boots at Piccadilly Circus to get some eye gel after getting off work. The moment I heard Joy's voice, I couldn't keep it within me and I started crying softly whilst dodging people's gazes on the street. I kept repeating in mandarin "I miss you so much!" while trying to hold back my tears. It's great to be hearing her voice again and to be chatting and be myself again (when with her).

I don't know why but I'd been feeling rather homesick lately. Guess it must be the stress, and not being able to have my close friends with me in times of my need to have their ears and shoulders to borrow for comfort depresses me even more. It's not easy being a foreigner. I supposed.

I've caught it...

After staying home and watching on my laptop two animation movies - Hoodwinked, Meet the Robinsons - I begun flipping through various older journal entries over the past three years of my stay in the UK. Main ingredient of all the or rather most of the entries taste of lonliness. Time flies, I have changed. From someone who was ever so cheerful, bubbly and carefree to someone lonely, depressed, moody and very insecured. The cheery self now is fake. I wonder if that's what London is capable of. Turning innocent, naive individuals to such state. Or is it the real world that's the actual culprit? Have I been too protected back in SG? Or is it all part and parcel of growing up? But I've always been 12!

All the recent series of events - work, life, love - has drained me. I feel really tired, strained, numbed. I don't feel a thing anymore. It's like being tied down and having lotsa pins stuck into your flesh, but you don't feel a thing, you can't feel the pain. That numb. I no longer know how it is like to feel again. I don't know what emotions do I go through each day. Could this be depression taking in? I somehow won't be surprised if it is. I suspect that I've caught it...

Fake left-hander

When I get bored at work or when I'm starting to fall asleep before my screen. What I tend to do would be - to take a pen, grab some paper and start writing with my left hand (I'm a right-hander by the way). I'd be listening to a song, catching the lyrics and trying to write as much as I can grasp with my left hand. It's rather a good idea to keeping awake and myself amused.

Now, why don't you try that too! Try writing with your other hand.

Come that feeling again...

Having someone there to share one's time with; having someone there to have fun together with; having someone there to be told how special one is. Having that someone. Someone I never imagined I can be so fotunate to have.

It's almost like a dream. So afraid to wake up, for it may just disappear. There I go again. My fear of waking up and losing it all. My fear of being able to be happy for fear of losing it. Do I enjoy making others happy - seeing them happy on the expense of my own misery?

I'm such a child. Living in the fear of getting hurt again if falling deeper in. Sometimes ending up saying things that may hurt but not with the intention to harm but to protect.

Operation Lily Pad - IKEA

Code name: Operation Lily Pad
Location: Ikea, Croydon UK
Mission: To capture The Frog "MATA 4-piece eating set"
Status: Accomplished


Decided to head to IKEA to get the baby feeding set to top on to this other bath time toy I'd gotten for Michelle's adorable son's first b'day party this coming Saturday (but his actual b'day is on 1st Jan). It's either tonight or I'll never get my arse to IKEA due to my constant procrastination habits. I'm glad I did and my mission was a success. Next mission would be to get the b'day card.