II. Letters from the heart to the heart...

II. Letters from the heart to the heart...

Sunday, 30 July 2006 - London, UK

Dear Potatoe,

I miss the times we spent digging through or rather you digging through the pile of stuffs/clothes at FCUK, H&M, accessorize, etc. during the sales. Now I'll have to do it on my own, though not as great a job as you did.

I miss the times we would get lost trying to figure out the right way on the A-Z, and I'll let you handle the navigating from what past experiences tell me. Now I'll have to navigate with what sense of direction I have with the help from people on the streets. Heck it, sometimes I still get lost even with the help.

I miss the times we would hang out and chill in the Richmond Park, Hyde Park, St. James Park, watching the proof of season coming season going. Now I'll have to try get my own arse out. I've made it far only during lunch hours now in the summer with my co-workers from time to time. It just don't feel the same.

I miss the time when we can just bitch about anything, like the old witch and English men for example. Now I'll have to make do with Priska playing your role, however it just don't feel the same and not using Chinese too, even though she's a Libra too.

I miss the times where we will lie in our beds in our big room, chatting about anything under the sun, till we get tired into the wee hours. Now I have the whole room to myself but no gossiping sessions in it anymore.

It has been great this holiday making visa, being on it with you. Thank you so much. No regrets. I will be thinking and missing the good and bad times we've shared during this brief journey in UK. I hope you'll find your direction soon and snap out of this lost direction soon. I'll be there with you, listening if I can't be there in person. Hope some day, we'll be able to travel together again. In the meantime, take great care! You've been dearly miss! Lots of love, muacks and hugs.

Love,
Pea

I. Letters from the heart to the heart...

In the next couple of days or weeks (depending) to follow, I'll be posting a series of letters that I wrote onto my blog - which may be or may not be in order of date, which may have been sent out or may never be send out. Through them you may be able to follow me through my journey in UK, how I change and how I feel. However, please take note that the letters you will be reading may not be of the actual real whole content of the letter/s itself.

So... Here's one for you first.

I. Letters from the heart to the heart...

Sunday, 30 July 2006 - London, UK

Dear Babe,

It's amazing that I managed to get through this job offer right before I was supposed to head home for good this march. Little did we know, there's such a twist to fate and *pooftz* I'm back here again. I admit I was sad when I had to leave UK (for good), didn't want to be back to SG yet as I've not had enough of travelling in the Europe (but I'm back here again). And when I was back in SG, it all felt like a dream, like I've never worked and lived in London before. So contradicting life is. So weird. However I'm glad I'm able to be back here again. The first time last year, the experience was more fun as I had my friend, Potatoe, with me. We have the same asian frequency , we hang out together. This second time round, I'm on my own now. At first it was fun as I was dazzled by all new around me; my new job, new colleagues, new lifestyle in a way without Potatoe. But after a while when I've passed this dazzling phase, it starts to hit me back and I've never been more homesick than ever. I started to miss everything about SG - family, friends, my comfort zone. I was often moody, depressed and anti-social. So I tried getting in touch with listening to chinese songs on Yes93.3FM at work. Haha... now after this homesickness phase is passing, I'm starting to be better already. I guess the many SALES here helped a lot. But poor pockets. I really need to save and start travelling more! Hee... hope all is well for you back home. Sorry if I don't write/email you lot as much as I used to. I'm on the road to my self-discovery now. I'm learning and am lovin' it! Missing you lots! Muacks!

Love,
Pea

跑

每当遇到心理上的问题。我都是一声不吭，转身就跑。
真是个窝囊物呀！难到跑开就是解决问题的方法吗？
那当然不是，但是我就是没有多大的勇气去面对它。
唯一能做到的就是把跑路。
有好多时候想要面对但是还没面对，对方以替我做出了决定。
那就是遗忘以及心碎降临。

Just a Thursday

1. During Lunch Break

I was out on the streets in China Town. I left my colleague to go get me some oyster sauce while she ordered a b'day cake for her boyfriend's birthday party this coming weekend. I was stopped by some oriental guy (English refers to Indians as Asians, and we chinese as orientals or chinese, perhaps) asking for directions to chinese massage shops. He spoke really fluent (China) mandarin.

I pointed in the direction of where he might be able to find where he wants to go, but it can be tricky with the streets, but I didn't tell him about the tricky streets. I just pointed in that direction. He asked if it will cost. Dunno. Maybe at least £25-30 for one? He asked if I was from China. No. He asked if I was from Taiwan. No. He asked if I was from Hong Kong. No. He asked where was I from then. Singapore. He's from Korea. I must say I was impressed. He's tall, single eyelids, small eyes, glasses, nice smile, kinda tan, cute maybe.

Pity I had to get back to work, but first I had to find my colleague again - for she doesn't have her security pass with her to the office doors.Otherwise, who knows, I might had decided to show this korean-who-speaks-fluent-mandarin-guy where he could find the place on the tricky streets. Then I could had tried to find out more about him. How did he manage such perfect mandarin? How did he grow to be that tall? What was he doing in London? Why was he looking for a chinese massage? Questions that are not gonna be answered just because I had the excuse of work waiting for me, of course he does not know. And my colleague needs me to get into the office, and of course he does not know. I simply smiled and walked away. I let the possibility of having found yet another new friend slipped away just like that. I pictured we would hit it off pretty well, and I can speak in the comforts of my mother tongue again. Oh yeah... little miss day dreamer.

2. After Lunch Break, During Work

Emails kept shooting across amongst our screens the whole of the day non-stop. We five (or rather I) couldn't concentrate on work totally. Think everyone's in a it's-not-Thursday-but-Friday mood.

Bits of our email conversations:

ME: I once had a senior who’s absolutely nuts about Garfield. She always wears Garfield Tees to college.

Mark: You had a senior?

ME: Means I'm not in contact with her anymore. Hence the past tense - had

Mark: But that would imply that you could ‘have’ a senior?

Chrissy: Loose translation of “once knew”

Mark: So if I was referring to my old friend allan, I would say ‘I had a guy called allan’

ME: Hi my name is Angela. I come from Singapore. I speak Singlish.

I swear I nearly bursted out laughing when I read that 'I had a guy called allan'. For a moment there I believed I buried my head in my hands and gave out a silent laugh. Oh, hang on a minute, I think the burying of head was to the fact that Mark said he is using a garfield duvet cover now at home as he loves Garfield. Somebody get this guy a lollipop please?

3. Random

-- Trixy reminded me my serious crush back in polyhood whom I had nearly forgotten his existence. Garfield (nickname given by me)
-- Went to watch My Super Ex-Girldfriend after work. Great Laughs
-- Finished reading The History of Love. Nice book. Very different writing styles from what I've been used to. Reading it again to gasp it all in
-- Gotten Trixy's postcard in the mail. Cute little bears postcard. Thanks potatoe!
-- Gotten my long-await debit card, the previous one was damaged. I can draw some cash again!

Happy Birthday Singapore!

Once again it's Singapore's Birthday!!!

Happy 41st Birthday Singapore!!!


Though I may not be home at this point in time to celebrate
Nor catch the NDP glamour on TV at home
Nor stay out with friends to watch the lovely fireworks display
But no matter where I go where I am
My heart still belongs to you!
You've got me in my heart, in my mind 24/7
I LOVE MY COUNTRY!

Birmingham

*SATURDAY*

Went up to Birmingham with Mark for the weekend. We stayed at Joe's place.

Joe's absolutely nuts. Met up with their mates. They are all crazy fun. Hell of a time.

We drank, we chat, we laugh, we happy!



*SUNDAY*

Mark and Joe showed ME around Brum (Birmingham).

Walked about Bull Ring.

Fish & Chips at the Malt House.

Movie - Angel.A - crazy french film.

I made us Chinese dinner.

Tomato + Egg

Chicken + Garlic + Onion + Broccoli

Rice

We had dessert.

Tarte Aux Pommes

Mark, Joe, ME had great laughs!

* from L - R, Top - Bottom*

Victoria Square

Selfridges (Bull Ring)

Balconies

Ferries Wheel

The Malt House

Bull Ring



Mark, Jim

Jon

Susie, ME

Susie

Joe

Mark, Joe

ME, Mark

Jim, Joe



*TAH DAH*

Ingredients of Birmingham



P.S. Sorry, unfortunately Sarah's missing above. She's shy girl.

I'm spiteful

Sometimes I can be quite spiteful. That's what Mark, my colleague, was commenting on me through email at work yesterday. Before that, we were sort of expressing our views on passive smoking being more harmful and some other issues of discussions. I must say our emails, or rather mine was kinda hostile in tone. He said I was just feeling bitter. Oh well, what's gotten into me of late?!

I am bitter and spiteful. Gee... not been much of a good day at work eh. And to add on to that, in the course of the past few weeks; I made a number of blunders at work, forgotten to take my debit card after a purchase at some store in Manchester (was there for a break the recent weekend), had to miss watching the world cup finals as I'm on my way home from Manchester in the train (didn't realised the finals date when booking the train tics), in cranky moods. I'm like a landmine, ready to blow up if not carefully treaded upon.

Could this be a beach-withdrawal-symptom? Missing parts in my life? Good (veggie) friends absence?

Anyway I'll be going to Dance Valley this coming Friday in Holland! Yippy! At least that's something to look forward too! And once I'm back, I'll be able to see Syndy in London! Yay! Think I miss Fab4 too much. This time it really hit me right smack hard now that I'm truely back here in London on my own! Man, it sure is tough! Not that I dislike it, just that it's really taking me quite a bit to realise and adapt. Finally? What took so long?!

Sigh, I don't even know what's gonna happen once my visa runs out. I would love to be back again in the comforts of home but I would also love to be in the comforts of freedom I can get away from home. It's not gonna be easy to get a work permit here I dare say. There's a very high possibility that I might have to pack up and wave goodbye to London next year. There's still so much I want to do and travel in Europe. I find myself racing againt time! Am I just getting paranoid or something? It's only July you may say, but before you know it, winter's gonna come and then spring where I have to leave. Somebody, please smack me! Am I thinking too far? I'm just getting upset and irritated over nothing. Must learn how to relax! I'm trying to! I just want to laugh at myself! Hahaha! Gee, I can be so random.

To end off. I would like to say,"I'm angry because I care. I'm a very caring person."

Nintendo DS Lite - black

Woo la la.. I've just bought a DS Lite today during lunch :) I wanted the white one, it looks really cool. I find it looking like an apple product! I have a white ipod nano! But neh, the white would get dirty easily. So I settled for the black, and no regrets! :)

Mark, my colleague, was in New York the past few days on a business trip. He was supposed to help me get my DS lite there but unfortunately his card had problems with NY. Anyhow he managed to help me get some DS games on my To Get list! Cool! So with the DS games, I definately gotta get the DS lite itself then.

The DS games were much cheaper in US as compared to UK. So I managed to get Harry Potter, Brain Academy, Meteos for £45. That's quite a saving!!! Imagine one game alone could cost about £20 each in UK. My DS had an offer, one game (I gotten Brain Training) + DS at £110, otherwise it would be £99 for the DS alone. That's cool I got 4 games + DS for £155! (All figures are rounded off to the nearest) Now I have a new companion on transportation with me :)

So.... Look out for my reviews on the 4 games in blogs to come.

lovely surprise from the mushroom

:) I got home from work today. Passed the stairs and saw there's a package from Singapore for me. I wonder who could it be from. I picked it up, opened it, and *tah dah* a pressie + letter from Lisi (mushroom)!!! Aww.. how sweet of her! I love surprises :)

It was a lovely scheduler. Perfect! Just what I needed! However here's the twist. If only Lisi had mailed it out to me earlier, I would have been happily filling it out with ink NOW! Unfortunately I bought a similiar scheduler over here too just a few days ago, and ink's already terrorizing within it. So I'm gonna be Super Panda for the next 12 months at least before I turn into Between You and Me. Haha... Thanks Lisi! *MUACKS*

* mushroom = lisi
pea = me

Holland VS Portugal - World Cup 2006

Oh my God! Albeit I'm not really a soccer soccer person, I must say I've never quite enjoyed tonight's match more than ever!

Cristiano Ronaldo crying for getting off the field (bet he should be crying now how lucky to be kept off the remaining of the match and not getting yellow/red card/s), 16 yellow cards, 4 red cards (2 each team), fighting going on behind the referee's back, 6 minutes extra time. Never been more amused. I was hoping that Holland would stand a chance to win, but it seems pretty unpromising as the game played along. I had wished to see both Holland and England playing against each other in the next match. It's been a really entertaining match nonetheless. Never laughed nor cried nor felt more anguished this ever.

I just so loved it when the commentor said,"16 yellow cards.. who cares... it's been ridiculous!"

Hell ridiculous it's been! That's right! LMAO!

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince - book 6

I can't believe the ending to 6th book! Dumbledore's DEAD! Snape KILLED him! I wish it wouldn't have been so. It was so shocking! I was devastated and sad that I teared during the last 2-3 chapters. Dang! Shocker! Heart breaker! But it's been marvelously well written. Great book! I can't wait to read the 7th book when it comes out. And of course like me, there are many other Harry Potter readers out there who has the same belief as I, i.e. Dumbledore's not really dead!

So, check this site out: www.dumbledoreisnotdead.com

"Song" below inspired by above aftermath of reading the book. *giggles*


Title: Beach longing

Whenever I ever wanted to be alone, feeling all down and lost.
All I ever wished to do was to be there by the beach.
Sitting down on the soft sand, facing the waves before me.
Listening to their sound of music, soothing it may be to my nerves.
At least they allowed me to seek some solace and comfrot from.
With no need of a permission or what so ever.
I can freely set my heart free from my sufferrings.
They spread their invisible arms around me with patience.
Alone in their presence I can find myself facing all day.
Admiring the beautidul dawn to dusk I can.


P.S. "They" referring to the waves/beach

cookies

Made some cookies! It had been fun trying to bake! Woo hoo.. It's been over a decade!

Tried 3 seperate attempts (on different days). First attempt had been horrible. I put too much margarine, but it's still tasty. So for the second atempt I put in lesser margarine. And tried putting in some butter for the third attempt as I havne't enough margarine. Tsk tsk... I brought cookies to work from the second and third attempts. They all at work loved my cookies! Even my housemates! *beams* Now they call me the cookie queen. Haha.. My colleagues call me Cake Biscuit (as it tasted so) or Cookie at times now.

But I think my third attempt was the best batch! I'm defiately gonna try a forth attempt! Might try putting a chocolate chunk in each cookie next round. It only gets better. Hee.

Here's the simple recipe I found online:

Soft baked choco chips cookies
1 cup margarine
3/4 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup white sugar
3/4 cup vanilla custard
2 1/4 cup flour
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp vanilla
2 eggs
2 cups choco chips

1] cream margarine, sugar and custard together
2] add eggs
3] add rest except choco chips
4] mix well and add choco chips
5] drop by teaspoons onto cookie sheets
6] bake at 185 degrees

P.S. it was mentioned 1 pkg vanilla pudding, but I couldn't find it, hence used the vanilla custard as the substitute, which I would say turned out really well :)

In the London oven

I’ve never like to curse and swear, but fuck it. It’s like being in an oven out there, especially when you’re stuck in the tube for a fucking hour!!! When it finally budged and got to Acton Town, the whole station has to close. Oh lovely! I love getting delays in an oven due to rail signal probs. Then I hafta walk all the way under the fucking hot sun all sweaty to catch a bus to Shepherds Bush in the fucking hot bus. But I had a fucking pleasant journey in the oven again to Oxford Circus station to change to Bakerloo line to Piccadlilly Circus. Don’t one just love the transport system in London? I know I do. Fuck cares.

*shrugs*

*clears throat*

So… hows everyone coming along back home then eh? Bet the SMRT is never that bad like what happened to me this morning trying my fucking best to get to work in time only to end up near 2 fucking hours late!

A list of choices

Life is about choices.. summer is here. We are all braced with many choices in life... so here's a list of mine. Tsk tsk...

I would either have to get a new pair of jeans or shed some extra weight off
I would either have to get new skirts for the summer or get my mum to mail over some of mine from home
I would either have to get a new pair of sunglasses or squint my eyes under the sun
I would either have to get a new TV or make do without cartoons and drama in my life
I would either have to get a decent shoe rack or scatter my shoes all over the room
I would either have to get a big towel to lay on while tanning or remain fair in the rare UK summer
I would either have to get nice summer dresses or miss out on the perfect chance to ever wear them here
I would either have to get more shorts to wear at home or keep wearing the only pair without washing for weeks
I would either have to get summer open toe footwear or let my feet stink beneathe my covered shoes

The list of things (materal) I want in life. The list goes on and on for sure...

Officially a year

With reference to this previous blog of mine - a month into london , I think it's time to review it once more. As of 24th May 2006, I've now been living in the UK for a year.

Here's my review from last's year's:
Now a month year into London, so what's it about that I'm missing from home? Family and friends excluded as they have always been missed.

1. Radio Stations & Music Variety - There's alot more black music here, not that I have anything against them. They are nice.
   I take that back. I love the music stations here! I think there are lesser radio commercials too! Cool! But I do miss hearing chinese songs over the radio back home.
   


2. My PC & broadband! - I miss stoning in front of my PC in the wee hours doing nothing! Hahaha!
   No doubt about this still! Though I do that here but it's just not the same as back home!


3. Shopping - It's so much cheaper back home!!!!
   Correction: Things back home are getting more expensive. You can get things cheap if you know where to find here. But I think Bugis area is getting greater than before to shop back home. I like it there still.
   


4. Authentic Asian Food - I MISS nasi padang!!!! Pineapple rice!!! Some chinese food here don't even taste nor look chinese!!
   You betcha! I want my nasi padang still!!!


5. MRT & SBS/buses - I miss the aircon and speed. It's stuffy in the transport here when the weather gets hot. It's much cheaper back home too!!!
   The tube/transport system here practically sucks especially during the weekends, what to do since it's been a really old system. Way back...


6. Fruits - Much cheaper! So much more! I want my papaya!
   Exotic fruits like pineapple and papaya and yes, watermelon are rare here, you'll be surprised! And they cost!


7. Bed & Pillows & Bloaster - I MISS my baby bloaster!
   *sobs* But I have my own room now! So yippy!


8. Beaches(Sentosa) & East Coast Park - I MISS Sentosa which had been at my expanse! I MISS all the blading at ECP!


9. Playgrounds - There's one in every estate/neighbourhood you turn into back home! It's hard to find a decent one here! I wanna play on the swing!
   


10. Weather - Though the weather can be stinking hot back home, but it's always summer all year round, just 2 seasons - rainy and non-rainy. I kinda miss those stormy weather at times, especially in the mornings! Snugging beneath my warm blanky with me baby bloaster! I miss the consistence in weather too albeit the fact that I do enjoy the different seasons here. Think I like it here in late Spring - early Autumn. Winter? No thank you. And dang, it's never even snowed here, real snow! None. I must make sure I get to try snowboarding out this time round! Hmm... Come to think of it, this year's Spring is really late. Last year this time, the trees would all be green and full, now those outside my house are still pretty bare, not as full blown as last year's. Oh dear...
    

Ah, but there must be stuffs here that I'm enjoying and liking! You betcha!

1. Cherries & Strawberries - It's their season!! Much cheaper too! YUMMY!!!
   You only get those in Spring mostly. It's nice, I'm finally able to taste fresh cherries and strawberries again :) Just had one minutes ago.


2. Pastry, Cakes, Cookies, Desserts! - Simply heaven! Yummylicious! Wide choices! I simply LOVE the carrort cake at one of the cafe at Sloane Square!!!
   ARGH! I've put on 5kg since last year! I'm horrible! No. THEY are horrible! They can't do this to me!!! (They meaning the desserts, etc.) BTW Krispy Kreme Donuts are the BEST donuts one could ever have in life!


3. Marks & Spencer - LOVE it though not cheap! The food! The sandwiches! Best!
   No doubt M&S is good, but I've found pleasures in the other supermart/sandwich shops here like Waitrose, Pret A Manger, Eat, Fresh & Wild, etc. Yeah! Sandwich here rules!


4. Fashion - Dress as you like! So much more shops, varieties, choices! So much much more! Men here dress up more too! Cool~
   I love looking at people's dressing here! They really good at it! And the guys are so cute here. Hee hee... my eyes are going ga ga... ha ha!
   


5. People - All sorts: weird, funny, scary, cute, charming, cool, interesting, shocking, rude, good, etc. Different mixtures, more than Singapore!
   Yeah, it's fun meeting all sorts! And I have really great new colleagues, and I still keep in touch with the ex-colleagues too. I've been hanging out with them, new or old. And housemates too. Making new friends too. So it's been really keeping me busy.
   


6. MTVs - Yeah and certain shows too, like Will & Grace, SATC, both sexually hilarious.
   Unfortunate to say, I don't have those to watch anymore since last July. But I like some of the local programmes/documentaries. Little Britian's wicked! And the cartoons too! A pity the TV in my room has died on me. So goodbye to Mr. TV!


7. Supermarkets & Sandwiches - Too many choices!
   Yes, refer to #3. I've never had such a hard time with deciding which sandwich or bread to get. I'm spoilt for choices! Wraps are great too! *beams*


8. SALES/Shopping - Only time when things cost cheaper : sales!
   Definately! H&M, Primark, they have been filling my wardrobe. A nice dress at H&M range from £15 (approx. S$45) onwards. That's cheap! But wait... wait till you've heard about Primark! Imagine a pair of shoes for as cheap as £6 (approx. S$18 ), a nice necklace from £1.50 (approx. S$4.50), bags from as cheap as £3 (S$9). Heaven! TK Maxx is another killer too! I try not to get in there and stay away from it as far as I can. However, I gotten my fav. Miss Sixty jeans there at slightly less than £20 (approx. S$60! Imagine you get those for S$300 at least from the boutique!) Now I'm just waiting for the sales to come. I've been spending too much in 2005! I'm now trying real hard to save and not spend too much so that I can go travel more. So far it's been.. hmm I better not say. Let's just put it that I've managed to get to Italy, Paris and Vienna to date in 2006. (I've not spent money on shopping in those countries! WOW! Amazing! How unlike me!) Also planning a holiday or 2 or 3 to look forward to in June/July/August.


9. (Flea) Markets, Museums, Parks - Awesome! I'm fascinated by Richmond Park.
   The markets about Liverpool street area (Spitalfields, Petticoat Lane) I love! Haven't been to the museums much, perhaps I should look into that. Next garden/park on my list must be the Kew Gardens! I need to find someone to come along with me then. Tsk tsk...


10. Stockings & Boots - Good for the cooler weather. Woo lala! I'm gonna wear those!
    It's cool to be able to wear boots here! And nice stockings/leggings too! I wanna get more boots when the cooler weather comes again. For now I'm happy to have summer come upon the cold UK once more! I wanna go about in short skirts/shorts wearing flip flops! Don't wanna put on winter clothes! Figured I had enuff of those! Had enuff of the cold as well!!!


11. Movies - I have always enjoy going to the cinema, just don't like paying for the extortions that's all. However now that's changed! A few of us from work have gathered and form The Cinema Club, where we go watch movies a few times together every month. We all signed up for this Unlimited Movie Pass, for just £13.99 (approx. S$42) per month we can watch as many movies as we want to! That's absolutely freaking fabulous! Woo hoo! In April alone I dare say I've been to 6 movies already! Be it alone or with colleagues. Now dig this! That's what I call a great bargain! It's even better than the Singapore Film Society I'd join back home.
    


12. Clubbing - I love the clubbing scene here! It rocks! Much better music and crowd as compared to back home. However alot of people do drugs here in the clubs, so that bit I HATE! Drugs and drinking here are really a very big problem. Smoking too. Very bad, but music's great! Can't complain to that. Haha... I love Fabric (a club in London)! There're a number of other nice ones as well. Many.
    

So there you go! I dare say I'm still having a great time here, other than the darn HOT weather otherwise perfect. (It's hardly been very HOT the past year. Hope 2006's summer will be better than last year's) Gimme a few more months before asking me once more. *Grinz* I must say that I really am having a fantastic time back here again after starting on my second new job after 2 weeks break from home in March. Though work's getting very stressful and busy lately, I'm hanging on and trying to keep cool.

Think I'm definately gonna miss my life here in UK when I do go home some day. We'll just see how things go then. *smiles* In the meantime, I'm gonna make whatever time I have here well spent. You bet!