my equation

I guess it's been quite a while yeah? A lot has happened, I'm still the same old same old. A girl waiting for her prince in the fancy little world of her own. I seriously do not know what's wrong with me! Why am I so protective of myself - on one hand closing up and not wanting to get hurt and yet on the other hand getting my heart broken by all the wrong choices of men. I seriously do not understand myself. Even though I've told myself not to run away, and there I go sprinting off. I'm really tired and it really has taken a toll on life and work which is no good at all. Totally not a good sign. But I do not know how to stop this and get myself out of it. I've sunk so deep in that it's become part of me. To be living without it is like losing a part of me. Sigh. Terrible. If possible I wanna take a time off and go blading by the coast back home again; sitting by the beach and have all the time in the world to think about things and myself. But would I really have such a time? I'm always busy running about like a mad woman.

I tried but I failed. I do not know how to communitcate. I seriously have to forget about POF totally. Would a guy not want to be in contact with a girl he could grow to fancy and know? My equation for knowing if the guy can be someone potential may have been proven wrongly here then.

POTENTIAL GUY = HAPPY + COMFORTABLE (when together with)

That's my equation. I must say I just realised there's more to the equation than it seems. This equation is true if you want to know if a particular guy can be someone potential. But here's when the extra bit comes into the whole equation.

AFFIRMATIVE POTENTIAL GUY = HAPPY + COMFORTABLE (when together with) X 2 WAY TRAFFIC

It takes two hands to clap. Why haven't I remembered! So what if I'm really feeling happy and comfortable and able to be myself with POF? I've tried clapping but he's not voluntarily returning the clap. That's when it is time to let go! Past experiences have taught me to try learn taking it easy 'cause there's really no point getting all upset about. And I didn't even cry over it - tears won't flow out. I'm just numbed. Amazing. But still it had been a great time and lovely memory. 不在乎天长地久,只在乎曾经拥有.对吗?


I think I'm more upset over the fact that I can't find my CDs of photos of the last few years!!!!! All my photos with close friends and family and travels!!!!! Triple sigh. Now that's what I call depressing, more upsetting and heart breaking to think about rather than over some guy. Sigh.

Left or right?

Look at the below image for a minute or 2.
Is she turning clockwise or anticlockwise?

For me, at first glance it was clockwise, then after a minute or more, it began to turn anticlockwise. Then after a moment it's back to clockwise again. Woah, I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. But after a period of time, it seems to set turning in the same clockwise direction. But if I were to try concentrate really really really hard I think I can try make it turn anticlockwise. Weird.

Well... An ex-colleague shared this test with me. However the test result is in portuguese. He said he only sees it turning clockwise-anticolckwise-clockwise and had been clockwise ever since, whereas his girlfriend sees it turning antoclockwise only. I tested this out on 2 other colleagues. Both have different results. One sees it turning clockwise only and the other anticlockwise only. Guess it's cool for one to be able to see it turn for both directions.

So what direction is it for you? Post it in my comments! I would love to know.

- TEST RESULT -

PORTUGUESE VERSION
"Supostamente, se você estiver estimulando mais o lado racional do cérebro (o esquerdo) você verá a mulher girando no sentido anti-horário. Caso esteja utilizando mais o lado direito do cérebro, ligado a subjetividade, ela gira no sentido horário."

TRANSLATED VERSION (from dictionary.com)
Supposedly, if you will be stimulating more the rational side of the brain (the left) you you will see the woman turning in the counter-clockwise direction. In case that it is using more the right side of the brain, on the subjectivity, it turns in the clockwise one.

MY TRANLATION FROM ABOVE
Suppose if you see the woman turning anti-clockwise, it stimulates your rational side of the brain (left brain). And if you see it turning clockwise, for most people would, you are using more of the right side of the brain.

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Test your brain and see how much of a left or right side person are you. For me I'm very balanced, 46% left, 46% right - perhaps that's why I always have the problem of contradicting myself.
http://similarminds.com/brain.html

LEFT BRAIN FUNCTIONS
uses logic
detail oriented
facts rule
words and language
present and past
math and science
can comprehend
knowing
acknowledges
order/pattern perception
knows object name
reality based
forms strategies
practical
safe

RIGHT BRAIN FUNCTIONS
uses feeling
"big picture" oriented
imagination rules
symbols and images
present and future
philosophy & religion
can "get it" (i.e. meaning)
believes
appreciates
spatial perception
knows object function
fantasy based
presents possibilities
impetuous
risk taking

Left and Right brain functions source:
http://www.viewzone.com/bicam.html
- go read or find out more!