Finally

It is kinda ridiculous when one expects you to have the redesigned product/website LIVE in the morning at 9.30am so that we can have an email alert sent out to all subscribers to show them "hey, LOOK! We've gotten our product rebranded" on the online product's website before the hard copy actually reaches their hands. Yesh, no problem, I can do that, providing I have a race with the dawn to see who reaches work first. So by right I start work at 9.30am, so now in order to win this race with dawn, what time should I start work?

Anyway I was there already at 8.30am, this is the best I could arrive to compete in my race. And so had I for the past week. Imagine 11 hours everyday! But I'm glad my baby has grown wings and taken off, though not a totally smooth flight, still I manage to get it to fly. It's been really really hard work. Now, my baby is looking much better - organised, clean and unified design for both parent and its child websites.

Thinking finally I'd be able to have some peace of mind after this major baby's done, guess I was wrong...

Sacré bleu

Have a break... Have a Kit Kat

I can't wait for the better times to come. Not that I'm complaining, but this is simply too much for I to bear. Work is getting atrociously hard to manage with all these piling tasks. I've got a major product or rather website to redesign and to go LIVE next Thursday. Time frame was short and given at such short notice too and the current site that I'm redesigning is complicating itself with its many nooks plus confusing navigation plus numerous different templates and its giving me quite a hard time tackling them. I like this bit of challenge in work, at least it's different from what I normally do with the boring mundane tasks. It's fine if it was the only task I have on hand to handle. But I haven't got the luxury of time to, I've got 2 other more products (websites) and many microsites/landing sites to look after. Man! I think I have a headache even as I type this. *shrugs* I'm finding it hard to juggle. I've brought this up to my team leader, she knows, but still I'm dumped with all these pile of shite workload. Is this how working life is like in the UK? I've never worked so hard EVER back home. And I swear it simply just gets harder with each new job. Is this call adulthood?

I do like facing these challenges but I've got a limit to all these. Not that I hate it (sometimes I do), but I need my space to breathe! I can't cope! I need to chill down! I need to get organised (not that I'm not one organised freak)! I need to get into control again! It's not only work that has been keeping me busy and draining me away. My personal life is just as busy. I can't breathe! I need some personal space! I want to and I wish I could just drop everything behind and run off somewhere and have a nice time all to myself, recharge and get back to my hectic life once more.

I need a break? I need a Kit Kat?

Have a break... Have a Kit Kat

SHITTY THURSDAY

I'M IN A BAD MOOD TODAY! LOUSY MOOD! JUST WANT TO MAKE IT KNOWN!

i HATE:

- WAITING

- MAKING MISTAKES

- GETTING PISSED OFF BY RANDOM PEOPLE

- BEING THROWN WITH STOOPID ENQUIRIES WHEN I NEED THE TIME TO DO MY WORK INSTEAD

- CSS NOT BEING COORPERATIVE

- NOT ABLE TO FIGURE OUT WHAT WRONG WITH MY CODINGS, WHY WON'T THEY WORK, BUT WORKS FINE IF I'M USING ANOTHER SET OF EXACTLY SAME CODES BUT WITH A DIFFERENT FILE NAME IN THE CMS

- WAITING, WAITING, WAITING!

- NOT ABLE TO HAVE TIME TO BREATHE AND RELAX!

- ARGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

- ARGHHHH!!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!

- I HATE WASTING MY TIME WAITING WHEN I COULD HAVE BETTER USE FOR IT

NOW I JUST WANT TO CRY AND LET IT ALL OUT AND I'LL BE FINE.

II. Letters from the heart...

II. Letters from the heart...

Thursday, 7 September 2006, UK

Dear Pea,

All my life I've been running. I've been running all my life. Amazing how ironic it is, I hate running, the least thing I would love doing and yet I've been doing it for as long as I can remember. I've been running ever since I could remember. I'm repeating over and over about this, imagine how an impact it must have been on me? I think I'm a runner. You could say that. Or at least that's what I said. I'm running. Away. And it's starting to, or in fact, already has taken quite a toll on me. I'm tired. I just want to stop and stay put - doesn't necessary means literally staying put, I'm mental. I've had enough of this running. Away. When one can't handle; do not know how to handle, one runs. Away. I ran away from home - again not literally; I ran away from people - especially one-who-shall-not-be-named, I lived in fear; now I'm running away from whatever. I'm sick, I cannot run anymore. I'm actually pretty tough, I just forget about that. All the time. Please remind me that I'm brave, fearless, funny (when did that get into this serious letter?), and confident. Why should I be running? Away.

Love,
Pea