It hurts...

It hurts ... my throat hurts
It hurts ... I'm coughing quite alot
It hurts ... I'm drowning my throat constantly with water
It hurts ... hoping the water silence those coughs
It hurts ... my throat is like another case of Tsunami
It hurts ... to see so many dead from the actual Tsunami
It hurts ... to see people lossing their love ones to the Tsunami
It hurts ... to be without that special someone
It hurts ... I'm feeling lonely and empty
It hurts ... I'm feeling all but an empty shell
It hurts ... where is the love?
It hurts ... LIFE sucks at times!

It hurts ...
That's what I used for my msn nick for these days. Thanks friends who messaged me in MSN upon seeing that nick. But I didnt bothered to explain why I'm hurt, just simply replied that my throat hurts. Of course that's the truth but not the whole truth. Haha...

The News has been reporting about the Tsunami updates alot these few days. It's really saddening to hear about all the deaths and lost of lives, increasing numbers with each passing day. Dead bodies about, foul smell about. *sigh* Bless 'em all.

shivering cold

Think I'm falling sick again. Yes, again!

After staying over night at a friend's place on Christmas night, I slept through out the whole of my Sunday. Only waking up in the night for dinner before heading back to bed and slept through till the morning. I felt so darn cold! Even hidden totally from head to toe beneath my quilt blanket didn't help much. BrRrrr...

Hate to drag myself out of the bed to get ready for work. Didn't get much done at work today [as usual]. Haha.

Think I might head to bed early tonight too. *Shivers with cold*

Jingle Bells & Wedding Bells

Christmas Eve. Lit up my [well, sorta] first cigarette. Took my first puff from it. Minty after taste. Didn't lit it well, light it up again, took a deeper second puff [bum puff]. Let the inhaled lingered within the mouth for milliseconds before puffing it out like a dragon. And so the stick was passed back to my friend. The whole experience was pretty brief. Nevertheless it's been rather an interesting experience. But I'll still say NO THANKS to smoking and cigarettes. Uh uh uh, NO! Smoking is bad for ya! Lungs Killer! Kids and peeps, stay away from drugs!

Actually my first encounter with lighting up a cigarette dates back as far to when I was still a little kid of like age 5 or 6, I was only in kindergarten. Ho ho ho... The mean and evil Uncle driver of the school bus tried to educate us kids on cigarettes. I was most probably the most daring kid on board, and probably the only stupid one who stepped forward towards that stick of drugs. I can't remember if I did light up that stick or even took a small puff from it, but it was there and then that I first learnt how a cigarette is actually lit. And I'm actually proud to admit I know how one's lit since I was a kid [I dont smoke though]. Hahahaha!

Okay, 'nuff said about cigarettes. I attended my ex-colleague's wedding dinner at Grand Shanghai this Xmas Eve. The place was beautiful and unique. But it's a pity that the table I and ex-bosses and ex-colleagues were seated hadn't really a good view of the stage. The food was alright. And at the end of it all, I forgotten to bring the chocolates given, home! Argh! Anyhow, the wedding couple looked really great, fantastic! The bride looking like a Princess, and I loved her gowns. Pretty like a Princess. Yes, think I've mention about her looking like a Princess many times. Princess. Princess. Princess. Ah, dream come true for her.

It's great to be catching up with those peeps at the wedding. Hell long a time since we all had a gathering. Thanks to this wedding.

Last but not least, MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL! Have yourself a merry little Christmas! La la la la la...

P.S. I "drew" this Xmas Greeting myself, hope you all like it. Enjoy. ->>>

The Rat Race

On your mark! Get set! GO!

*BANG*

And so the rat race begins, with Angela in the lead. Will she come in first? Or maybe a last?

Today marks the first day at work, finally after six full months of rotting and lotsa slacking and stoning in front of my TV, of my computer. Well, I'll still be facing the computer in the days to come, just at a different location. Haha!

The place I'm sitting at now is pretty good. Nice big empty table with nothing but the flatscreen, keyboard, mouse, and the telephone. The window to my right, the wall behind my back, colleagues in front and to the left in the room. Great, I've got good enough privacy in my corner. I could even sneak in online during certain hours to play my game. Ho ho ho. But don't think I will be that free once things start coming in for me to do. I'm gonna have to start designing some designs tomorrow at work. I started with a ilttle bit of stuffs today. So far things are still pretty cool. Hope I won't have a tough time trying to crack my brain for the designs [think I already am. Dang!]

Anyway the colleagues are pretty cool and easy to mingle with. The room where I am in, are where all the sales people are in. Great thing is, most of the time they won't be around as they will be running about, out of the office. Yippy! Even more privacy. Guess I better not be happy too soon. Hope I'll be able to do well [since there won't be anyone to guide me as I go along with the web/print stuffs, for I'm a one-man-team coordinating with the sales and IT side, etc.], 'cause I'm feeling the stress already. Oh well... Shall take things as they come along then. La la la la la.. gotta learn how to destress myself!

An End to Slacking Days

Within 55 minutes, I received another call. It's from a recruitment agency. They said they received my resume sent last week, on the 22nd. Well, it really took 'em some time to call me up eh. Perhaps they are gonna hook me up with some interview. Too bad, for I told 'em I've found a job. 52 minutes before, my future employer called me and said I've got the job! YES!

Well, you see... I went for this interview last Wednesday morning. Thursday morning, the boss called me up, told me they thought my portfolio was pretty weak, the [web] designs were simple and nothing outstanding. *shrugs* Low morale and confidence, I felt. But, hope is not lost! She said I will be given a chance to propose 2 designs for a certain project and they shall assess it to see if I'll pass and get the job. Well, something like that. Pretty pressurizing though. So I gave my best shot and got it done and sent on Friday night. So this afternoon, she called and said they were pretty pleased with what I've designed and congratulated me for getting the job! [Phew! I'm glad they were pretty pleased with my design.] YES!

I called up Lisi the very next moment after I hung up the phone with my future boss. Have to thank her and let her know about the good news. I was still expressing my concerns about this job's interview to her not long ago. Guess if not for her, I won't be able to get a chance to come across this job opportunity. Got the contact through her friend. So BIG thank you my dear gal! Maybe it's time for some ramen? Hee! YES!

Bye bye to my jobless days. Bye bye to my slacking days. Bye bye to my freedom! I'm finally working once more. Starting work this coming Wednesday, 1st Dec. NO! HAha! Kidding! YES!

So that means I only have one day of freedom left. Boo hoo hoo.. I'm gonna miss ya, my darling Mr Freedom. It's been a lovely 6 months being with ya. Sorry we didn't last long together, now I belong to Mr Money. Haha! Sorry, I'm not trying to be materialistic/money minded. But we all do need Mr Money to survive. YES!

Maybe I'll be getting the other CDs I've been aiming for! Haha! The jazzy jazzy, chill out compilations from inner Resort. Yummy! I wanna get the X'mas compilations from them too. Will be nice to play it for this festive season. I love Christmas most, just a pity there ain't white Christmas here. And maybe I'll get the Linkin Park with Jay-Z one, Collision Course. Keep hearing it over the radio, sounds nice. Hee hee, money coming in means money going out. However I'll try to save up as much as I can. Might have plans to go travelling or backpacking next year or so. :) YES!

No more waking up at 12 o'clock. No more sleeping at 5am. Haha... Pray I'll get used to working life again, in the busy city center at Raffles Place. Pray I'll get along with the new colleagues. Pray I'll be able to handle my new job duties and tasks, and not freak out. Time to get moving with the rushing life. Time to get a life once more. End to slacking days has arrived. Saddening. But happy that I've started moving on into another phase in life. YES!

Yucks!

I've never felt more disgusted ever in my whole life!

The cap to my bottle of facial toner, slipped out of my hand, bounced onto the wet floor and dived straight into the toilet bowl. Bull's eye! It decided that it needed a little swim, I figured. I'll give it a 10 out of 10 for that perfect dive! DAMN! Why there of all places to land?! Jesus!

And to make matter worse, I don't really wanna talk about the disgusting bit, but I have to, to make my point out. Sorry folks. My bro shitted before I used the toilet. The flushing system in the bathroom ain't that strong, so sometimes you have to flush like 2 or 3 times to get all the shit out to sea. But you have to wait for some time before the tank refills with water for flushing again. Sigh. So the sight of the water in the toilet bowl ain't crystal clear. Okay, think you should more or less get my point of disgusting here. Don't wanna eleborate more, appetite spoiler. Darn! Damn it! My poor cap! I had such a hard time fishing it out of that pit. Yucks!!!!

Disinfection does not seems to work for this case [I mean for the cap]. Had to wash my hands like crazy. Erm hmmm, of course I didn't use my bare hand to get the cap out! But the idea of getting your hands in there [not the crystal clear kinds] is enough to hurt. Haaha. Yucks! Gross!

Lucky I had a spare empty bottle to transfer the remaining facial toner to. I threw away the cap and bottle.

keeping left

You know how it is that people always like blocking the paths on the escalator here? Unlike London, whereby the left lane [think so] on the escaltors will always be left cleared for racing climbers. Yep! But that ain't the case here in Singapore. Guess we're so strong, I mean we have such a strong bonding with one another, that's why we always like to stand side by side and hog both left and right lanes on the narror escalator. All thanks to unity, you can say that again. Well, that's how we are brought up, selfish and haughty. Shame on me to say that of my fellow countryman, but I believe it's very true to a certain extent. A black sheep amongst us all make hell lots of of a big difference. Don't worry, I ain't that black one, I'm just a grey one. Haha.

We really are a 'FINE' city [as known to many]. Yep, FINE alright. Littering, fine $500. Spitting [in public], fine $500. Jaywalking, fine $50. Yeah, you get the ironic picture. In recent years, the government has been trying to educate us to be good citizens: keeping to the left side of the escalator, making the right side clear for those who wants to pass. Good thing there's no "fine" law enforced for this, otherwise it would really be such a sight. I can't bear to imagine, definately gonna make a real laughing stock to boo on. Haha...

There's posters and signs assigned near/at the escalators, saying, "Please Keep Left". I doubt anybody ever notice those [other than me]. Kinda big waste to the efforts. But I gotta take my hat off the the MRT station near my place. This morning while I was heading towards the escalator, there I saw a sign hanging on a stand by the electric stairs. It read, "Please Keep Left Unless Overtaking". Can't help but love the humour contained. Wonder what next. "No Speeding"? "Accident Area, Please Slow Down"? "Cautious, Children Crossing"? Ha ha ha.. I'm feeling so darn ticklish now. Oh my God...

slow slow Monday

Sitting alone on the big, comfy, red, cushioned armchair, slowly absorbing the atmosphere of the late Monday morning. Slowing taking in small sips of my caramel cafe latte, slowing savouring its bitter sweet aroma. Notice how I keep using 'slowly', 'slow'? Ah... I just love such slow days, where it seems like time has stand still and you can slowly go about the day at your very own sweet pace. Haven? I beg to differ. It's a pity I don't have a laptop with me, that's 'cos I don't have one to begin with. If not it might have been perfect. I would be like Carrie Bradshaw in Sex and the City, typing on her laptop in starbucks or something for her sex columns in some weekly newspaper. But the key point here ain't about writing for sex columns. Hell no! I'm Angela for God's sake. Haha. Why did I even drag Carrie into the picture?

So there I sat, at Pacific Coffee, with my coffee. HMV is just across the walk way. You can just hear 'em play all sorts of music, free. Yes, freedom of music. But neh, thanks but no thanks, for I had ATB playing for me on my discman. What a great way to energize the start of your day.

And so I sat, slowly appreciating my cuppa latta while watching the crowds of shoppers briskly walking past before my eyes. Perhaps I should do this more often. I think this makes a good perfect setting for some inspirational writing. Tsk tsk... Think a piece of nice warm cake would make it even better.

falling prey to...

Think I'm falling prey to sickness. All sorts. CHOY! CHOY! CHOY! Lol. Better not joke about the all sorts. *touch wood*

I'm having a pretty sore, sore throat now. Been trying to drown that throat with lotsa water, herbal tea, lozenges, blah blah blah. Am afriad I might fall prey to the Flu Monster too. Got a couple of sneezes every now and then. Hope I didn't catch it from my brother or friend. I don't wanna fall sick at such a time like this!!!. The festive season is coming. I wanna have fun! Think I better tuck in early for these few nights, and try to take good care of myself.

Oh yeah, in case you haven't watch the movie, The Incredibles, do go watch it. It's really fabulous! I really dig it! Loved it! Awesome! So do go catch it if you haven't already. Hee.

Okay, think I better go take some cough medicine and a big rest. Tata~

my other dad

Yesterday was Boon Siong's birthday. I always call him 老爸 [lao ba - another way of calling Dad in Chinese]. He's my other dad. Haha, not my real dad, but a classmate from polyhood days. Haven't any idea how did this father-daughter thingy came about. I'm his eldest daughter, while Trixy is his second daughter.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY 老爸 !!! - 16th Nov -

I gave Boon Siong's my [real] Dad's old Pentax camera. How cheapo neh neh of me man! But it's thoughts that count, ain't it? *sly smirk*

So I met the birthday Dad up for dinner last night, Sipei joined us too. It's been a really long time since I last caught up with her. We three chatted lots over carrot cake and tea and coffee at Starbucks afterwards. Topics mostly revolving around work, driving lessons, polyhood days. Bitching and gossiping about our lecturers, coursemates and those 3 weeks/months projects. Lol. Yakkaty yakkaty yak! Found out lotsa stuffs that I've been missing out when I was back in polytechnic. Darn, I was such an innocent and naive girl back then. Haha, and I still am now. *grinz*

It's been a really fun time, though all we three did was just talk and talk and talk and gossip. Tsk tsk. It's doesn't matter how we should celebrate together, it's the company that matters. A nice chat over nice cakes and drinks companied by friends, that's good enough. Good example will be one such similiar session over the past weekend with my secondary school girl friends at our all time fav hang out place, Dome Cafe. We all met up to have a mini post-birthday celebrations for two of the gals. All shared jokes, dreams and updates while sipping to our cups of tea. Ah, what great pleasures. Is this a good or bad thing? Are we all growing old? Old as in we don't go creating havoc anymore, but sitting at some nice quiet place sipping to tea and munching on cakes while chatting the whole day away. Great way to chill out. Haha. What ya think?

The Love Verdict

"没办法，谁叫你是我的女儿。"
[Well, what to do, who asked you to be my daughter.]

That's simply my dad's reply when I begged for his forgiveness with regards to the scratches I caused his precious car. I can tell the signs of heart breaks from the look on his face. Aww. He didn't said anything else after that. Guess he has to witness the scratches before deciding how broken his heart shall be. Guess I've gotten too overly worried since that day. And guess I'm lucky to have such a doting dad. Hmm, so let me see, what should I get him for X'mas then?

Yesterday, Trixy finally reached Germany to be reunited once again with her lover rabbit, Flo. Hee hee. How sweet when she told me that Flo appeared in the airport waiting for her with a rose in hand. Aww, that's so sweet! Wonder if I would ever have such a scene happening to me? La la la.. I'm dreaming of a white Christmas. Opps, strayed off point. Anyway, we the Fab4 chatted on MSN together for the whole night! Hell, it's been such a long time, ever since Trix left for her HolidayMaker in the UK. Boy, if only we 4 could hang out together again soon. Missing Trixy lots.

I plead guilty

I'm tired and extremely guilt ridden, and in very low spirits right now. Felt even worse earlier on. *shrugs*

Not sure how I'm to explain the situation nor how did it exactly happened. To cut it short, now the left corner of the front bumper area of my dad's car has new bad scratches that's as bad looking as the wound I'm having on my right leg! Paint came off, there's grey patches of scratched marks. Fortunately there ain't dents. *sigh* Blame it on my recklessness and carelessness, I bumped into the rear of a parked car while I was trying to turn into the parking lot or something. So it was a bumped, scratched and run accident. Damn. I felt so bad for getting my dad's car into such an accident! That stupid car! It was parked illegally [don't know how should I describe how that car was parked] in the car park, otherwise I would have been a happy girl now. *double sigh* Not much point getting upset over it like spilled milk eh?

Anyway my dad's out of town now, he won't be back till Sunday night. Think if he sees the scars on his car on Sunday, I'm afraid he might faint. I'm feeling so guilty, it was my fault for getting into such trouble. *sobs* Hope the repainting of that bit for the car won't hurt my pockets when my dad sends me the bill. Oh well... think I better go rest. I feel frail.

Avril Lavigne - My Happy Ending

My Happy Ending
Avril Lavigne

Lets talk this over,
It's not like we're dead,
Was it something I did,
Was it something you said?

Don't leave me hanging,
In a city so dead,
Held up so high,
On such a breakable thread.

Pre-Chorus*
You were all the things I thought I knew
and I thought we could be...

Chorus*
You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be but we lost it
All of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending,
So much for my happy ending.

You've got your dumb friends,
I know what they say,
They tell you I'm difficult,
But so are they.
But they don't know me,
Do they even know you?
All the things you hide from me,
All the shit that you do.

Pre-Chorus*

Chorus*

It's nice to know that you were there,
So thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one.
It's nice to know we had it all,
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done.

Chorus* X 2

So much for my happy ending
So much for my happy ending

---

Oh Oh Oh Oh. So much for my happy ending. Oh Oh Oh Oh. So much for my happy ending. Those words kept playing back and forth in my mind. I heard this not too new song of Avril's on the radio few nights ago while I snugged up in bed trying to catch my sleep. And I really loved the lyrics. They are so darn nice. I ain't really much of an Avril fan, except the fact that I simply adore that sexy black dark eye-makeup of hers! [I've always wanted my eyes done up like that too, but I believe I'm just gonna end up looking like some fashion disaster in that.] But I do think her songs are really very meaningful. Nice songs, nice music too. Can't help but fall in love with this particular song. And I just gotta grab this ablum of hers!


Yesterday there I was with Syndy in Gramophone at Paragon, Orchard Road. A pity Lisi had to leave early for her X'mas play rehersal. So there we were in the CD shop for nearly 2 hours. Wow! Browsing through the CDs and sampling our ears to the wide ranged Jazzy, Lounge, New Age Music, etc. My main aim was just to get Avril Lavigne's Under My Skin album, but was also tempted to get a really cool CD for chilling out. Haha. After we made our purchases, the cool sales guy in Gramophone saw that Syndy and I seem interested in those lounge kinda music, tempted us with even more cool jazzy lounge music. Damn him! Damn damn damn! In the end I bought one and Syndy bought one too from Inner Resort's compilations. Mine's called Jazzdelicious, her's called Moonlight Lounge. The Moonlight Lounge one is more chilled in a romantic and sensual atmosphere. I loved it but could only afford getting one for the time being. Am gonna borrow from Syndy to savour. Hee hee. So at the end of the night, we were happy shoppers with a hungry tummy. Haha. Ended up having our late dinner at McDonald's. [I haven't had Mc' for ages]


inner Resort presents Jazzdelicious
12 songs
This compilation is just too cool to be missed! Every song is unique in its own way and it will defintely appeal to electronica and jazz fans. Smooth and funky nu jazz instrumentations. A melting pot of Laid back beats world rhythms and urban sound. Featuring remixes of Sarah Vaughan's 'Lover Man' and McCoy Tyner's 'Blue Bossa' by U.S producer Jazzelicious.

Aneroxia Nervosa

Aneroxia Nervosa
Written by Angela [who is none other than I ]


STOP! I said stop! Stop feeding yourself!
Start starving yourself! Yeah!
Eventually you'll loose em' weights!
YEAH! yeah! yeah!
And left with all but skin and bones!
COOL! That's the way! Yeah!


Chorus*
Stop feeding and start starving! Yeah!
Puke em' all out! Puke em' all out!
YEAH! that's the way! Yeah!
Puke em' all out! Puke em' all out!
Stop feeding and start starving! YEAH!
PUKE!


Start starving yourself! Yeah!
Heard me? I said start starving yourself!
Puke em' all out right after you eat!
YEAH! That's the way! Yeah!
STOP! Stop feeding yourself!
Aneroxia Nervosa! NO NO NO! Aint what I am!
You're a FOOL to think that WAY!

Chorus* x 2

Anorexia Nervoxa! NO NO NO! Ain't what I am!
PUKE!

---

Cool eh, ain't it? I wrote this song, well if you can call this a song. Haha! Inspiration all thanks to Lisi, as she said she's gonna go on a diet to shed off extra fats. Think it be cool if she follows the advices from this song? Haha. Guess I was really madly insanely bored. Guess I got too bored with facing my homepage which is progressing way behind schedule.

Wonder if this song would make it big?! Haha. Okay, I'm dreaming once more, as always. But it's good to dream, if not life will be too boring. I was hoping to have the music to this song go towards those kinda music like Linkin Park and Avril Lavigne. Underground band? Punk? Lotsa drumming? Electric guitar? Shouting like Linkin Park? Those words in Caps would sound good for the shouting bit. Lol. Whatever. Don't steal my copyright for this then! Haha! [As if anyone would turn these words into music]

Sorry is all too late

Wayne,"Sorry for what I did to you but I really have my own difficulties."
- sent 9th November at 1.02am

I didn't reply. For I think there's nothing left for me to talk about with him. He makes me feel that he's just some childish guy trying to get back into good books. I rather spend my time reading novels. Haha. Well, don't ask me what's it he did to me. I haven't any idea. But the best thing he did to me was to leave me. No! I rather put it this way, the best thing I ever did was to leave that whole relationship. I'm happier now. Hope there shan't be anymore blogs about this guy. Tsk tsk.

WWF

*OUCH* I just got pushed off my mum's bed by my darling little brother! Lucky the landing wasn't a deep impact. Grrr!

I was watching some bloody gruesome murderous opening for some jap anime [Elfen Lied]. Whereby this bare naked lady was walking around wearing just only a metal helmet, killing all the guys in sight without lifting a single muscle. The guys were severed mystically. Heads, hands, bodies, feet were practically ripped apart. Woo la la.. what great sight.

Anyway enough about the gooey bloody scenes. After watching many animes before this particular one, I got bored. So I went to annoy my "little" brother who was resting on my mum's bed. I pulled his leg, snatched his pillow, "punched" his belly, and we starting wrestling each other. Ho ho ho, hell it's been a long time since we fought like this. It's like some kinda mini-WWF, hee hee hee. Did a scissors on him too. *evil grinz* Sometimes I wonder am I really a girl? Guess age is catching up and my bro ain't the little boy he used to be anymore. I lost the battle and ended up on the floor. Damn!

Perhaps try an even sneakier attack on him next time? Geesh! Fancy an elder sister bullying her younger brother eh? Shame on me! La la la la... Back to watching more episodes of the animes. La la la.

Tata. Signing out.

Idealist

BBC's "What am I like?" personality test - click to take the test


My Results:

My answers suggest I'm an Idealist

The four aspects that make up this personality type are:
1] Spontaneous
2] Ideas
3] Hearts
4] Introvert

Summary of Idealists
- Make sense of the world using inner values
- Focus on personal growth and the growth of others
- Think of themselves as bright, forgiving and curious
- May sometimes appear stubborn

More about Idealists
Idealists put time and energy into developing personal values that they use as a guide through life. They may seek fulfilment by helping others improve themselves and often want to make the world a better place. Idealists only share their inner values with people they respect.

Idealists are the most likely group to say they are vegetarian, according to a UK survey. (--> WOW! NO WAY! I LOVE MEAT! But I do love potatoes, and perhaps salads too. So does that make me a vegeterian? Lol. Neh, doubt so :p )

Idealists enjoy discussions about a wide range of topics, particularly those that deal with the future. They are typically easy-going and flexible, but if their values are challenged they may refuse to compromise.

In situations where they can’t use their talents or are unappreciated, Idealists may have trouble expressing themselves and withdraw. Under extreme stress, Idealists may become very critical of others, or lose confidence in their own ability to cope.

Recognition for their work is important to Idealists; however, they are also good at spotting false praise.

Idealist Careers
Idealists are often drawn to jobs where they can help people reach their potential. They are also attracted to careers that allow artistic creativity.

---

I guess I gotta say it's really darn true for me man. So now I know I'm an Idealist. Ho Ho Ho!

Was chatting with Trix online while taking this test together. It was fun, me asking her what am I like and which sets of answers best describes I, and vice versa. Think Trix knows me better than I know myself. Haha.

The Forgotten

It's been raining quite a storm lately. And I'm feeling just like the rain. Dark and gloomy. Splish splashing! Pitter patter! Shatters!

Playing Linkin Park then Prodigy on my mini Hi-Fi, trying to draw out card readings on my bed. It was the afternoon. I stared out of my window, I saw the rain dropping, everywhere was wet and grey. The green green trees and green green grass starts to stand out amonsgt all this gloominess. Can there be hope?

At night gazing out of my window, I could see the reds and yellows and greens light emitting from my neighborhood. The traffic lights, the vehicles, the flats. Grounds still wet from the showers. Actually it can be quite romantic. So there I was by my window, wondering what am I actually doing with my life. No idea. Left clueless, just kept on staring out into the open, hoping the somberly sky perhaps would grant me an answer?

There's so many things I wanna do, but funny thing is: I haven't the faintest idea what they could be. It's just somewhere within me, waiting for me to find the lock and unlock it one by one with some special key. So where can I find this key? Where can I go to, to unlock this all? Answers! They never seem to come by your path the easy way. We just gotta keep on searching for it. Perhaps there may come a time where one shall never find the answers at all. Sounds really shitty eh? Life, it can be just like a woman, so hard to figure and so hard to please. Haha. What irony. Guess one tends to be a little more literary with this coming of the rainy season. Will be nice if there's winter here. I've never tasted snow before, let alone snowball fights.

"The Forgotten" centers on Telly Paretta (Julianne Moore), a woman deep in mourning for the loss of her young son. Telly last said goodbye to him as he boarded a plane with a few of his schoolmates. All of the passengers perished in a plane crash and now Telly's life is in a permanent holding pattern. 14 months after the deadly event, she's still going through his photos, touching his possessions, and watching videos of him on a daily basis. She's also in therapy.

Telly's husband Jim (Anthony Edwards) isn't in mourning. Why? Because he doesn't remember having a son. In fact, Telly's the only one who has any memories of her child, the other students, or the plane crash. Everyone believes she's delusional, but Telly holds fast to the strong memories of having a child, refusing to let go of the son she knows she loved and lost.

A random meeting with Ash Correll (Dominic West), the father of one of the other deceased kids, sets the story in motion and provides Telly with another human being who remembers the supposedly imaginary children and the plane crash. So who - or what - could effectively remove all memories of these missing children? Telly and Ash team up to discover the truth, even if it takes them into the world of government conspiracies and cover-ups.

A movie I was watching moments ago. It's not at all spooky, has a sorta nice flavour to it. Makes me wonder. Why can some people forget a special someone that's so precious to their lil heart and yet some people can't? Could I? Would I? Should I? We keep asking ourselves. Am I in some sorta delusions and denials too? Just like Telly? Or just like Mohammed Saeed Al-Sahaf, the world renowned Iraqi Information Minister... Comical Ali??! Haha! Guess time shall be the answer this time round.

P.S. Telly's son is a very cute kid [in the movie]. Such a sweet looking boy, with melting smiles and talking eyes. Makes you wish you had such a cute kid like him too. And I must say that Julianne Moore's looking pretty in the movie too. Tsk tsk.

BOO! Did I scare ya? ho ho ho.. Okay, lame. Anyway Happy Halloween!!! Trick or treat?!

Together with the gals [Joy aka Lisi, Syndy and my Godsis, Adeline aka Peilin] last night, we headed off for a mini halloween celebration all dressed up as our very own crazy self. :) We had a fantastic meal at a really neat Japanese restaurant in Orchard. It makes you feel like you're in Japan. I had my fav Char Siew [BBQ Pork] Rice, while the rest had their ramen. We shared gyoza [Japanese style dumplins] which was mmm mmm mm! After that Joy and I even got ourselves some real mean Ben & Jerry's ice cream! It's actually a miniture tub of Ben & Jerry's, for $3.50. It's so cute. Even come with a mini spoon inside. Hee hee. Mine's Cherry Garcia, her's Cookie Dough! Mmm mmm mmm! What better way to start your Halloween. Yep!


Oh yeah, about our halloween celebration. Sorry, got carried away by Ben and Jerry. Tsk tsk. A little intro about the really cool place we gals headed down to after dinner for our mini halloween celebration. Syndy's friend/s joined us for the fun while it's a pity Adeline had to leave early barely minutes after reaching the place. Anyway this place we went to was called Mox Bar & Cafe.


Mox Bar & Cafe, " Tucked away from the hustle and bustle of city life, Mox Bar & Café sits in quiet repose atop a quaint pre-war shop house in Tanjong Pagar (location).

Decked out in 60’s and 70’s inspired furnishing, and complete with lush carpets, mosaic walls, plush sofas and cushions, our little haven offers respite for the weary urbanites who want to kick back and relax after a long day. The ambience is warm and cozy during the weekday evenings, but hot and frenzied as the week draws to a close. A perfect place for that intimate tete-a-tete with friends, or the hot and bothered pre-drinks rituals of Friday and Saturday night fevers.

No smoking is allowed in the bar but we offer the veranda which sets the mood for love, offering a dizzy view of the city nightlife, amidst lingering scent of Frangipanis and the warm colored patchwork of tiles. Within the main bar area in air-con comfort, ultra-funk décor spills class as our bevy of beautiful waiters and waitresses gracefully enforced our “No smoking in the bar area” attitude."

Woo, I just love the "No smoking in the bar area" rule! No dirty smoke smelling hair after a night's of fun. Yeah yep. And woo, there's so many cute looking guys in there. But it's a real pity that they are gay. Aww. Now we know where all the good looking men have gone to. Haha. Sorry but no offence. So we gals sat at one cosy corner in Mox, sipping to our cocktails [I had one called bloodsucker], munching on chips while enjoying the sight presented in front of us. Where we settled, it seemed like an out of bounds area, for no man wanted to crowd near our big sofa. We're on No-Man Island.Haha. But it's okay, we're all enjoying what's playing in front of us. It's like watching a movie on some real big plasma TV. There were a few funny guys in cute outrageous costumes. Think I spied a group of tennis boys, an air steward, a bumble bee, a few devils and lotsa angels and some convent school "gals" . All of 'em guys! The one I loved best was this guy dressed up as Wednesdays Addams, from the Addams Family. He's really hell loads of fun, and very daring too. You should have seen how provocatative he was! Boy oh boy, what fun. After the best halloween costume contest, we all had a little fun snapping crazy pics of ourselves. During the contest, we gals cheered madly for Wednesdays! Damn, think the gays, oops, I meant guys, present preferred the convent school gals more. Oh well, Happy Halloween to ya!

Me a sweet potato? You've gotta be kidding!

Oh my God! I can't believe Wayne [my ex] actually asked me when I'm gonna be free to meet up for dinner or something! Damn! I smell something fishy. [I betcha he's no longer with that girlfriend of his anymore!] I told him about my bad fall and he said I'm just like a sweet potato, always falling. He called me a sweet potato. I wonder what that meant, man. And I'm so laughing about this. Haha Haha!

Oh yeah and he said I sounded like I'm afraid to see or meet him up. Oh yeah! Now who's been the chicken?! So I cooly replied saying that it's not that I'm afraid to see him, it's just that I don't wanna see him. *smirks*

Rain to start the day rolling...

It's raining again. In the morning. Woke up feeling cold under my think blankets. Haha.. But still kept me feeling warm underneath it. What a lovely weather to stay in bed all morning! Too bad I gotta wake up early for my eye appointment today. Hope it wont cost me another bomb, for here I'm off for my appointment. After that I gotta go Sentosa collect my Islander card on such a weather. Today's the last day to collect it. I'm always so last minute. Tsk tsk. And so after that it's back to freelancing at that company. Pretty much happening in a day then eh... Good Morning Rain!

P.S. From what I just blogged, think I'm crappier in the mornings. Haha! Adios~

rainy season once more

It's been raining pretty often lately, I guess that signifies the coming of our "winter" here? Lol. Instead of snowing, it's actually raining here. Oh dear! You can't leave home without an umbrella anymore for these few months. Sucky but still I love the rain, providing you are warm and sheltered. It's nice to be sungged up cosily somewhere enjoying the wind and coldness that the rain brings along with it. A plus if you have that special someone there to share such moments together with. Oh well, as for now I'll just enjoy that on my own. Je suis le vent - I am the wind~

Just today I finally got the chance to put on one of my fav. jacket. Thick red and grey stripes hooded jacket [from Topshop]. I really love jackets, but blame it for the hot and humid weather here I hardly ever had much chance to wear 'em. So guess with the coming "winter" soon, I'm finally able to wear me jackets? Hmm, but I only have a limited few. Sucky. =p

Received another call yesterday, it's from the Art Director of that company where I last helped freelance for. He said he needed me to help 'em out with a few projects as they are pretty caught up with lotsa work. That's cool, was glad that I've not been a trouble for them the previous time. So I think why not just go give it another shot since I need some income to feed me tummy. So there I was in the same office working along with the same few guys. Guess it's actually not that bad after all. At least I manage to complete a few design stuffs today [design wise it's nothing fanciful nor beautiful]. =) But lemme tell you, it really ain't easy working for graphics/print design. Deadlines Deadlines! Think web design's datelines are a tad better but so damn draggy, it's so draggy that it can drag for months up to a year and still it's not completed. *Shrugs* A very good example will be my personal homepage that I'm still trying to work on. Haha! Anyway hopefully I'll be able to get something up and live in November. So better watch out for it peeps!!

P.S. Hope by making that statement, it can really pushes me to get it up live and running in Nov!. Erm, if not Dec? Hmm, or perhaps 2005? Haha!!! I can't help but laugh at my own procrastination. =p

durian cake

Received a call from Michael yesterday. Said he's got a lil something for me, 'cos I made him felt real bad and guilty from that nasty fall I had some time back. And I made it sounded like it's totally his fault. Hmm, maybe partly. Haha. Sorry I was only just kidding, not really trying to make him feel real guilty or anything [well... haha].

So thanks to that wound I got my family and I a free Angie the Choice Durian Cake from Mic. Now I'm the one who's feeling guilty, for the cake ain't cheap! To me at least. Heh heh. Perhaps next time I can try make Michael feel more guilty? For free cakes? Haha! I'm so bad! But I definately won't wanna fall and get bad wounds/scars anymore, no no no, that ain't pretty. So Michael don't worry about feeling guilty and think it was all your fault to start with, okay?

Anyway I shared the lovely durian cake with my mum, bro and cousins [Dad got home too late to enjoy it]. My bro was such a pig. Lol. So hey Mic! Really thank you so so so so so much for the cake! And for the season 3 & 4 of SATC too :) BIG THANK YOU!!!

poem?

Hope Within Emptiness

Here I sat by my table dreaming
With a pen in hand and music in ears
These thoughts I pinned down for all to share

Overwhelmed with pain in lower right leg
It hurts my heart so to see it there
Thanks to recklessness I ended in such mess

Staring aimlessly into thin stale air
Life before me seems so bleak
Confidence from within starts to fold

Heart shot straight through by Cupid's arrows
Love's gentle powers enticed me
Beckoning me into its sweet strong arms

Alone in bed I laid awake each cold night
Tugged warmly under adhering covers
Began dreaming of my knight in shinning armour

My love where forth art thou
Constantly fantasying of a world together
Only awakened to find it all but a reverie


So there you go, a poem for you. If you can call that a poem. Haha.. I wanted to get going with my website [which is still a long way more from completion], but I got bored and ended up scribbling this.

licking my own wound

I felt like a little baby just now while my mummy helped me clean up my wound. I was screeching non-stop. Used up alot of antiseptic and cotton wool just to clean up that rotting wound on me leg. Hurts big time man. I couldn't bear to witness the cleaning, so I let my mum do all the "dirty" work for me. Haha... Mum said I did a very very bad job with my wound. Well, I just couldn't bear to clean it up properly, it hurts you know, so now I'm gonna pass the ball to my mum and let her do the cleaning for me. Just like a little kid eh? *innocent gazes* :)

So hopefully with tender loving care, may my wound heals properly then. Hope the scar won't end up looking devastating. I'm keeping my fingers crossed first. DIE! DIE, YOU SCAR!!!! Well then, may me wound be on the road of speedy recovery soon!　頑張って!!! [ or がんばって - gam.bat.te - meaning "good luck" in Japanese ] 加油 !!! [ - jia.you - meaning "add oil" when literally translated from Chinese. Haha... It should mean something like good luck or power up/refuel for whatever's ahead! ]

頑張って!!! 加油, 加油, 加油 !!!

painful tough times

WARNING!!!




What you are about to read and see is not for the faint hearted.
Alot of BLOOD and pain has been sacrificed for this!
Please leave this site at once if you are not prepared for this.

---

Okay, if you are still hanging around, here goes...

Think I must be going through a pretty rough patch in life at the moment. Not long ago in the morning, I paid 189 bucks just to have this nasty pimple in my lower right eyelid removed. Bloody hell!

Here's roughly how my mini eye operation went [might have left out some points]:
1] had a drop or 2 of eyedrops to pre-numb my right eye a little
2] the eye specialist injected 2 shots into my lower eyelid to really numb the eye
3] then he pried into my lower eyelid and had some metal tool clipping the pimple area
4] next he poked this very sharp needle or something into the pimple [lucky I can't feel the pain]
5] and he started swirling with this very small metal spoon, digging all the pus from within [I can see the action]
6] and ocassionally poking the pimple with the needle again and then removing the pus [lucky I can't feel a thing]
7] applied some eye cream and it's done

Gotta go back for a check up again next Friday. More $ flying away? Now my eye's still feeling a little numbed from the injection. I can't blink. And I got a "bloodshot" eye. Haha...

Actually it wasn't so bad, not much pain just a pinch in the pockets. What's worse was I had a really nasty fall last Saturday while I was out blading with my friend. My God! Speeding really kills! At first all's going very well, I'm enjoying the speed with wind blowing in my face. Damn, I just love the wind doing that to me! As I was approching the zebra crossing area, there's these few people who wanted to cross it. Well funny thing is, in this particular park on earth the pedestrians give way to the bladers at the zebra crossings. But seems like they must be new aliens who just landed on planet earth. I could see that they wanted to cross the path, yet they couldn't make up their mind whether to stop walking or carry on walking when they saw me approaching. So there I went, with a BIG slam onto the dirty, hard, rough path straight away. Damn! My reflexes are so quick! I can't believe it, I did it again! I fell! Wound measuring about 7cm in length and 4cm in width which I think means "Congrats! You're gonna get a BIG scar after!" There you go, another new collection to my scar collection. It shall be by far the biggest one. Should I be happy or just cry about it? #@*&% I only have myself to blame! So no more skirts in future!?!?! And to think I just bought 2 new pretty girlie skirts before the accident! Aww... #$%&*@!#

Actually that wasn't really bad [Yeah right, my ass! You can say that again! #$%&*]. Think my wound's rotting! Hell! The wound keeps emitting out horrible pus with layers of horrid looking don't know what thing or skin or flesh around the area and it looks like it's decaying or something, starting to eat up my flesh. I can feel the flesh being eaten away, I gotta limp for a few days 'cos of the sensation. Can someone tell me am I dying? Now for the time being I can't wear my pretty skirts with that disgusting wound/scar there. Hell, that's such a killer! I only have myself to blame.

Actually what's worst to come is that I can feel a painful bluge on each of my eyes around the brows area. Think trouble is brewing from within. Pimple trouble. Oh man, I just got rid of the one in my right eye, now comes 2 new members. Damn it! Will they ever gimme a break? Woo, think I can feel a small one somewhere near my nose area too. Christ! 3 of 'em! Papa pimple, Mama pimple Baby pimple, one big happy family? God! What have I done wrong to deserve such treatment? Is this some kinda test or something? I hate exams okay! Alright, I only have myself to blame, for not taking good care of myself. Let me carrying on rotting away then. Tsk tsk... so far all these physical pain is nothing, child's play, guess I'm already numbed to pain. It's these emotional pain that's killing me! Really getting down on me. *Sigh*

Okay, to lighten the mood a little, I'm gonna share something more pleasant. That day after the saddening fall I had, I had this strong urge to eat fried vermicelli [It's called 东粉 in Chinese, means East Powder when literally translated. Haha, so funny. It's actually long thin transparent like strands kinda pasta] in dark sauce with diced onions and minced pork. Somehow missed that dish I ate at a hawker months back. So I tried to whip up a similiar one for my lunch that day. I make a terrible cook I must say, dirtying up the cooking area just for one small dish. My mum had to stand beside and help me cook, I ended up more like her assistant cook. Haha... Though a tad dry, it was really tasty! Yummy!

Okay, something a little more pleasant then? Well, I just bought this moisturizing lip balm from Biotherm. - Aquasource Lèvres, an intensely moisturizing balm for smoother, irresistible lips! A genuine lip care, Aquasource Lèvrees is a delicate pink balm with a luscious, fruity scent of peach. Perfectly moisturized, lips are smoother and better protected. Soft to the touch, full and tantalizing to the eye, radiating with natural beauty. Glamour guaranteed! - Really guaranteed! And I'm really lovin' it!!! I can't help but keep applying it onto my lips whenever possible! Mmm mmm... yummy lips. Haha.. [if only I can test those lips out. *grinz*]

Alrighty, something else a little more pleasant?? For 2 days this week, I went to work part time for this media company as a freelance designer. Helped out with a few little ad projects. Nothing much, my design/skills/speed sucks, ended up watching the art director helping me design my work/s. Haha, what a disgrace to myself. All in all the people there are very nice and helpful. Had a nice time there learning a bit more about graphics design for ads from the art director. :) Hope he din find me a pest, employing me to help them out yet ending up otherwise. Tsk tsk...

So there you go. Painful Tough Times! Now do enjoy the pix. *sinister laughters*


You can see:
1] the blood sitting along the rim of me eye
2] how the wound looks like fresh few hours after the fall. hungry?
3] my lunch that fateful day, looking like worms? haha


P.S. Mic, if you ever made it to this point. I beg you NEVER EVER again tell me not to fall when I'm going for my blading session. Think that has become a sorta curse! Thanks loads.

yet another encounter with JJ

Actually I was quite excited that I'm able to get JJ to autograph my Singapore version of his 2nd album yesterday. But then it didn't really turned out too great for me. >_<

I'm pretty traumatized still. Awwww..... Guess I'm kinda taking this biz a tad too seriously eh.

Me and my Godsis, Peilin, sorta missed him on stage. We so very much wanted to catch him dance to one of his cool songs [that's the only song he dances to on stage that day]. But never did we expect him to be such a good boy and was punctual for his gig, outside Cineleisure. Oh man! What luck! Nevertheless he's still cute and we enjoyed the rest of the his songs and games before they start his autograph session. I think he even smiled at me when he looked in my direction, he gazed for a pretty long while. Think he remembers me! Well, it seemed like it. But after that he didn't dare look towards my direction, thinks he's shy. [Yeah man, I can dream on] Haha... Anyway this time I managed to snap a few closer shots of JJ [as compared to the 1st encounter in August].

So after sometime spent queuing up to get his autograph, I finally managed to get on stage and meet him even up close and personal. The guy in front of me was trying to snap a few pictures of him. And I too decided to try get some shots with "my" Nokia 7610. And just right in front of JJ, that guy before me asked JJ's manager to help take a photo of them together. Aww.. that got me excited! When it was my turn, I practically had to beg that fu*king bitch manager to help take a pic of me n JJ with my phone. [*shrugs* I left my camera with Peilin, who's waiting for me off stage] She said NO! I swear I look like some pathetic pup begging to be taken home. Puppy approached failed. Guess she's not much of an animal lover. So I looked at JJ, hoping he will defend me or say something! Argh... Not much help, worse was the other bitch manager behind him ganged up with that other and both refused to obliged to my little request. HA! Think they are just jealous 'cos I'm taller than them. Hrmp! So the best I could do was to snap a pic or 2 of JJ alone in the frame without me. But he's too busy signing the CD covers that 70% of the time he's keeping his head down. I wasn't lucky enuff to get the rest of the 30%.

After the miserable ordeal on stage, I found my way to Peilin. Then that's when it dawn on me that I didn't even get to shake hands with JJ while I was up there. All the others did. Damn! Talk about luck again! Some lucky girls before and after me even got JJ to write down their names on the cover along with his autograph. Argh! I forgot to get him do that since I was absorbed trying to get a pic together with him [if not he would have found out my name. haha]. Talk about luck once again! I hate that marker they let him used to sign the CDs. Sucky, ink looking thin while strokes looking thick. Good thing I already had the other version of his album signed with a much better marker back in August. Yeah~

P.S. I even saw Billy Koh, think he might have spotted me while I was trying to hide my gaze from him. Hope he didn't really notice me. Perhaps he don't even remember me anymore. Haha... Am I getting a little paranoid these days man?


P.S.S. That's not my hand in the "JJ & hand". Some idiot had to wave during that moment. But I kinda like the shot. Somehow made the photo look kinda artistic. *giggles*

un-mute

Alright, this blog's gonna make me sound like a damn complete idiot. And my mother a damn clever intellectual. *bangs wall*

When I got home, mummy told me good news which really made my day. Yep, made my day no doubt [irony intended]! The great news was that my speakers are working fine now. Hip Hip Hooray! X3 Let's rejoice. *blows party whistle*

My mum called my cousin to enquire about my speakers problems while I was out in town. Since everything's working fine for my computer, he suggested the only possibility was that the speaker wasn't plugged in properly. And hey! What do ya know what do ya know! Arggghhh!!! Needless to say, you would have guessed what happened! How unfair! My computer likes my mummy better! Hrmp! *pouts* And I seriously connected the cord or whatever you call that wire with the metal end whatever that is into the right [speaker] hole at the back of the CPU!!! I even made sure I couldn't push the plug in any further! *pouts again*

So there you have it! Dimwit Daughter VS Genius Mummy! *cheers* Well, at least I get to listen to my MP3s and watch my animes now! :p

P.S. Mic, thanks for the possible solutions you suggested.

mute

I'm so sad now. My computer speakers turned mute all of a sudden. It was fine before I fixed in the new DVDwriter that I bought today. *sigh* I'm feeling really helpless. *sobs* Now I can't listen to my MP3s nor CDs nor watch my animes because there ain't any sound coming out of the speakers. Can anyone help me? I've already plugged back all the wires/plugs or whatever you call those into their designated points. Why no sound? Even my brother haven't any idea why. *sobs* During the process of plugging in those wires, I've damaged my keyboard plug. Luckily my brother had a new spare keyboard which he reluctantly lend it to me for the time being. Perhaps I need someone to come take a closer look at my CPU. Guess I gotta make do without any sound for now till help arrives. HELP!!!

Goodybye Mr. P-Plate

Woo hoo hoo! Yippy! Happy! Okay, I'm tired. *yawnz* But I ain't going back to sleep or nap. Hate doing that after I'm already up and running about [unless I really can't stand it and need lotsa ZzZzZzzZz].

I woke up at 6.30am yeterday and today. Why? Because I gotta send my sweet darling precious dear [yeah as if! My foot!] brother, cousin and her friend to school. Why? Because my Dad's out of town for these 2 days and my Mum insisted I send them to school. Why? Because she said they are having exams, very important! They need the extra little sleep they can get. Bull shit! And WHY me? Because I'm the only other one who has got a driving license. Usually my Dad would the nice guy who drives them to school before going to work, so now it's my turn to drive 'em since he's outta town. How nice eh? I'm a good gal. Haha.. another bull shit! Oh well... Skip the complaining.

Ho ho ho! So shiok! Why? Because I don't have to use the P-Plate [probation plate] anymore! Woo Hooo!!! No more a probationary driver! Upgraded from 13 demerit points to 24! Woo la la! *shakes ass* Time flies, before you know it 1 year's gone. 12th September 2003 I passed my driving test! 12th September 2004, goodbye to Mr. P-Plate! And yesterday was my first time to drive the car without the P! Yeah!

One more thing... *drums roll*
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TRIXY !!!
May your b'day be as colourful as this one over there in London.

Heartbreaks & Chocolates & Oktoberfest

Having been M.I.A [Missing In Action] from my MSN for ages, I decided to log on in today and catch up with long lost friends. Tsk tsk... Of cos they were happy and delighted to see me logged on. [You know who you are] Haha...

And so the story begins.

Michael messaged me. Usual 'Hi's were exchanged. I asked how he was doing and he replied it was in fact the lousiest day he ever had. When I probed further, he revealed that his relationship with the gal whom he loved so much had just ended. He sounded so upset that I had to let his good buddy, Jan, know about it. Jan forced me to get down to Michael's place to check on him. [Okay, "forced" wasn't the right word, I'm only kidding. Relax peeps] I quickly grabbed whatever's wearable on the pile of clothes beside my bed, took a quick shower, got changed and flew out of my flat. [I didn't even had proper time to put on decent enuff makeup, but it's okay] So there I was at Michael's place asap. He looked like he's lost his soul or something, eyes staring aimlessly into the air and ranting on softly about what had happened while tying to be brave and not shed anymore tears for that girl. I can see he's feeling pretty shattered, I can't blame him for not being so. Love hurts! Love sucks at times too. But if you can get over it and conquer it all, you will be as happy as can be. Anyway I was saying, he seemed so heart broken that I really not know what to say to comfort him. All I could offer was a listening ear and lousy advices accompanied with cracky lame jokes. Haha...

And so I accompanied Michael to his school to sign out for his attendance before we hopped on down to Esplanade. I'm gonna introduce him to a chocolatey cool place. Chocolate is good! Chocolate is healthy! Chocolate is cure! Max Brenner Chocolate Bar, #01-06/08: A complete range of chocolate products for you to induldge in ultimate decadence. Go there for a cure now. If not for a cool chocolate hang out nevertheless. I'm goinng try my luck with the chocolate fondue the next time round. Guess the chocolate dosage ain't great enuff to overpower Mic's broken pieces. Tried telling him my past humourous/embarrassing experiences to help cheer him up. A break up ain't necessarily a bad thing, it helps one grow and learn to move on. I told him to start writing a diary or a blog or something, jote em down and few months or years later, read em up again and have a good laugh about yourself. [That's my case, hope it woks for everyone] I even offered to let him scribble his tots down in my scrapped book with the red pen provided. Here's what he wrote and with permission to pin it up here:

Once more I found out that I am not in control of my life. I hate that and no matter how hard I try I cannot change it. I did everything for her and what I got back was rejection and unthankfulness. Probably it is a good thing so I learned to appreciate my friends more.
P.S. If you [meaning Michael himself] read this again remember what Angela and Jan did for you.

Next stop, Paulaner Brauhaus, a German resturant [near Suntec] with instructions from Jan: to bring Mic over and fill ourselves with FREE food and FREE beer! Yeah! FREE! [yah cheapskate me!]. The sausages were great, but not really for the beer, not really my kinda beer [perhaps hoegaarden might be better? lol]. So Mic and I hang around the entrance with our FREE food and beer in hand and I spotted Jan talking to another guy nearby, skin-head, with cool piercings [one of em on his lower lip], wearing stylish specs. And I was like thinking, "Hey! He looks familiar. I think I 'know' this guy. Got to know him through friendster. I'm suppose to be his stalker man ['cos I spotted him in town before when he was back for a short holiday but he didn't see me.]"

After awhile, it's just us 3 sitting at one corner with Mic pouring out the "scoop" over again. Really interesting to hear what Jan had to say, I've gotta admit women and men really have different kinds of viewpoints and advices for a same suitation. Intriguing. Well, I totally agree with Jan. Something like you gotta ask yourself the answer, there's only a Yes - we can be together or No - we cannot be together; we as friends can't help you, we can only offer comfort and advice. The ultimate choice is still yours to make.... blah blah blah [his advices made good sense though I can't really remember if that's what came out of him. haha]

Later I the stalker finally got introduced to that guy [you know, the one with the piercings]. We shoke hands, exchanged brief greetings and that's it. End of stalking. We've sloved the mystery. Haha... Well he's still a cool guy, Jan's colleague. So I see, this guy's finally back from Aussie and settled for a job. Good for him, now think I should really start finding me a job too.

Alright, guess Mic seems to be feeling better a little I hope, and time wasn't early. We decided to hit back home. But before we did, we or rather I did a very very BAD BAD BAD thing, of cos with instigation from 2 good pals beside me. Haha, while we keep a look out, Mic and I quickly stuffed the cool Paulaner Brauhaus glass beer mugs [0.3 litre each] into my sling baggy. One for Mic, one for me. That leaves Jan clean, damn! Lol... Ho ho ho! Shhh! People you are not allowed to leak this evil deed out to anyone, especially to any law enforcer. It was for sheer trill I think? Those glass mugs look so cute you know, tall and slim and cool. Lame! Lame! Lame! Anyway what's done cannot be undone. *winkz* Who hasen't stole before? Example, stolen other's partner/boyfriend/girlfriend. Okay, totally out of point. I'm gonna go find a nice place to showcase my new found glass. Hahahaha!

End of story. Signing out. Tata.

P.S. Mic! Hope you are feeling fine already. What I think: She's not ready to be with you. She can't get over the family and friends hurdle for ya yet. The more you give the harder you tend to fall, likewise for expectation, the higher your expectations, the more disappointed you get if things turn out otherwise.. Life is too short to remind yourself how hurt you are. K, whatever that was. Forget about all bad happenings and live life to the fullest! Better things will surely come your way. It's only a matter of time. Lol.

P.S.S. Gals and guys, as long as you are my friend, be sure you can count on me anytime if you ever need a listening ear or crying shoulder. I will be availabe for comforting services from Mon - Fri, 9am - 6pm. Anything more than that I'm charging $60 per hour. I can provide tissues for free. Lol. Okay, just kidding. I'm sure you know what I mean. :) [Trix, I seriously will charge you the airfare for flying over to lend you my ear and shoulder... lol]

Resident Evil: Apocalypse - Part II

Phew! Finally made it to the end of the movie. Which took like another hour or 2. [In betweens, had a little snack, chat up a little with a friend, etc.] Lucky for me my brother got home when I was into the 2nd half of the movie. I told him how scared I was [yeah yeah, I'm such a scare-dy cat] and got him to tell me roughly what happened. I know that's gonna be a spoiler, oh well. Didn't really notice the cutesy mike in the latter half, except only once. Guess it's dark around to notice the mike. Haha...

Geesh, imagine you trying to act and there's the cam and crew and mike all in front of ya. Interesting.

So in the end Alice's [Milla Jovovich] the only sole survivor left in that Raccoon City. That pretty much about sums up the whole movie. I've never caught the part 1. Wonder if there's gonna be any part 3 to this? Hmm, oh, leave me alone!

Resident Evil: Apocalypse - Part I

Over 2 or 3 hours later, I'm almost half way through the movie! Hugging my little baby bolster. Gwad, think I need a man to substitute for my bolster. Haha... I kept pausing in between different bits of the movie. My heart is weak. Age has taken a toil over my courage. I'm watching the movie all by myself. *gulps* Think I should have just gone off to watch my season 5 of the Sex and the City. If I had never pause so many times in between Resident Evil, I would have finished the whole movie by now. I need a distraction and enough time for shock/suspense recovery from the scenes. I did whatever I could; quick check on my emails, took a few quizes here and there, browsing at people's blog, and down to blogging this entry to escape from Resident Evil. Haha...

Alrighty, half-time time out. Back to catching the movie. Bless my heart.

P.S. The version I'm watching is pretty bad. Wanna know why? Because through out little parts here and there, you can see the cute blacky mike hanging just above the screen. Either that mike guy's a newbie or he's sick of his mike-boy job. There you go~

What a week~

Woo hoo.. Finally manage to really get my butt down and blog this really long long long entry of the week. It's been a real busy week, I've decided to compile all the week's happenings into one blog. 7-in-1 you can call it. Not 7-11 [it's a store and more], but 7-in-1! Perhaps I should have used 7-in-1 for this blog title instead, but heck. lol..

MONDAY, 27th SEPTEMBER 2004
10:00 am - Hougang MRT
"Redeem a pair of free tickets (at Eng Wah Suntec only) for a selected movie on the last Thursday of the month, when you present your UOB Visa Mini and any Mini charge slip for the month."

Redeption starts today at 10am. I met up with Lisi. We headed off to Suntec City's Eng Wah cinema to redeem The Terminal movie tickets. The Terminal was the movie of the month. Yippy! We so very much wanted to catch this great movie!

11:00am - Suntec City
I swore we or I almost teared again when we saw the sign "UOB Visa Mini Movie Fully Redeemed" Ahh.. what luck! Wonder what time did those people really came to Q for thisman. Disappointedly we headed off to get Lisi's belated b-day pressie; an ultra cool silver colour panasonic ear phones! Think I'm gonna aim for that one when my earphones a gone case.

1:30pm - Muji @ Bugis
I came across a plastic container or something, meant to hold a roll of aluminium. Easy storage, easy tearing. I though I could get that for my mum's birthday pressie. Her birthday's just around the corner. Yeah, I'm such a cheapskate. But it's thought that counts *grinz* [Oh well, when I got home and gave it to my mum, she complained that the aluminium at home couldn't fit into the one I gave her. Arrg, darn Muji. But I still love Muji though stuffs are so hell expensive.]

2:30pm - Tanjong Pagar
We caught up with my Lao Ba, Boon Xiong, for lunch. It's been a really long time yeah. When I was about to ascend the stairs to Tanjong Pagar Market for our lunch, Boon Xiong accidentally stepped on my slip-ons, and what do you know... *PIAK* one of the straps on my left footwear snapped off. Haha.. My oh my... My God! The slip-ons has served me well for the past year or so, I didn't realise it's getting on its years. Time to change new shoes! *evil grinz* Good thing we savoured the all time fav, Peanut Ice Kachang, at the hawker. :) We three had a really long catch up. Heard stories about Boon Xiong's previous job. Lucky that he took the big step to leave that job. After lunch, Lisi suggested we go get some saftey pins to "glue" back my ruined footwear for the time being. Great idea! And I didn't have to limp after the salvage.

7:00pm - Charles & Keith @ Compasspoint
Lisi and I met up with my Godsis, Peilin, to look at shoes. Peilin has got a 20% off voucher. Looks like I gotta buy my shoes today since my slip-ons went on half-strike earlier on in the afternoon. Haha... I got a pretty neat pair. It's pretty pretty, can be worn for both semi-formal and casual events/happenings. Peilin got a casual slip-ons. But I didn't expect the blur salesgirl to have swop our shoes in the boxes. I ended up taking Peilin's pair and vice versa. Before heading home I had to rush off to Peilin's place for the exchange [ I was hanging out at Lisi's place watching a TV serial before that].


TUESDAY, 28th SEPTEMBER 2004
10:30am - Michael's flat
Michael had a friend, Frank, over from Germany for the week. He wanted to introduce us to each other. We chilled out a little at Michael's place before heading down to a nearby KPT - Kopitiam [coffee shop] for some roti prata brunch [Roti means bread in Malay. Roti prata: Indian pancake served with curry. You can have it plain or order it with egg and/or onion. Brunch = breakfast + lunch]. I like my roti prata with onion. At first Frank seemed kinda shy, pretty quiet. But as we all talked, he sorta warm up to us [or me] a little. He even taught me how to say a very bad word in German. Arschloch meaning asshole. Haha.. and I couldn't bring myself to use it on Michael when Frank suggested I practise the new word on Michael. Back at Michael's place, I borrow so many DVDs from him. He's like some kinda DVD rental to me. Sorry Mic if this sounds unpleasant to use. haha... And yeah! I got the Sex and the City serials from him as well. I managed to get those for seasons 1 and 2 and 5. Hip hip hooray! I'm so lucky! BIG THANK YOU to you Mic!!! ^_^

3:30pm - Syndy's residence
After an hour long ride on the upper deck of a non-aircon double deck bus all the way from Hougang to Dover, I finally made it in one piece to Syndy's place. Phew! Poor Syndy, she's still down with chicken pox. She still has so many little chick poxy all over her. Though freaking, I was really amused by those poxes. Hope they won't leave too much a scar on Syndy. Syndy looked so thin! Argh, how I envy her slim slender leg [pretend there ain't any poxes on them]. She seemed so bored to be stucked at home. After an hour or so at her place, I thought she was faking the headaches and giddiness when she told me about it. I didn't believed her, it wasn't until she puked that I freaked out. Guess it might have been the irregular meals she's been taking. Good thing her Mum got home before I left. A change of shift. I'm off duty. Mum's turn to be on duty. lol... Gotta rush off to the town to get something. lol...

7:00pm - Void Deck at Peilin's block
Well waiting for my Godsis to be back from work, I sat below her block remeniscing about my childhood while looking at the kids on their way home from school. Grannies, grandaddies, mommies, daddies, escorting their beloved child back home. Ahhh... those were the days. Hmm.. think I took the school bus home instead when I was in primary school. I'm more independent, no mummy or granddaddy to come pick me up. Haha!

8:30pm - My neighbourhood
Wile walking home from the bus stop, I passed by a small park and playgrounds along the way. It's the mid-autumn festival here. Saw the kids and parents happily lightening up candles and lanterns to celebrate. Sigh.. even more remeniscing. It's such a quiet mid-autumn festival for me this year. No candles, no lanterns, no celebration.


WEDNESDAY, 29th SEPTEMBER 2004
11:00am - Compasspoint
Met up Lisi to buy hair dye at Watson. It's gonna be a dye-hair-day for us! We gonna try colour and highlight each other's hair! Oh boy, I'm nervous! I've never helped anyone dye her hair before! Back at Lisi's place, we started working on each other's hair. I left the dye on my hair longer for it's tougher my hair to absorb the dye. While waiting for the hair dye to settle into our hair, we catch The Whole 10 Yards on DVD. All thanks to Michael! *winkz* It was really hilarious! Great laugh if you ever needed one.

3:45pm - Lisi's Living Room
After washing the base colour dye off, we head on to experimenting the highlighting bit. I was the first to try since I needed more time for the dye to be absorb. *sniffs sniffs* I had bit and bits of aluminium all over my head. Mine was folded into flat pieces. Whereas when it was Lisi's turn, I had hers wrapped and folded into little round balls. Haha.. We both make perfect aliens! *Drums roll please* Funky hairstyle of the year goes to us! We won! :p

6:50pm - GV @ Tampinese Mall
Darn! Damn! We overshot our timing for the hair highlightening session. We almost missed the timing for the movie. Left with no choice we took the cab down. After some implications/complications over the movie tickets, we finally managed to get our arse into the cinema. The Terminal, the movie we've been waiting for! Yeah, finally! We missed a little of the starting, but hey it's alright. The movie's still great! I simply loved it! Mmm Mmm mmm~ Really a BIG BIG thank you to G! If not for him, Lisi and I would never had caught that.

9:00pm - Basement of Tampinese Mall
After getting my curry puff for dinner... Yes! Only a pathetic tasty-licious curry puff for my dinner! As I was saying, after getting that puff I spotted one of the guys we the vball gang normally play with by the beach. What a surprise. We found out his name is Cheng San. Cool.. Cya at the vball games then Cheng San.


THURSDAY, 30th SEPTEMBER 2004
Whole day and night @ home - Staring at my computer screen
Spent the whole time watching season 1 of SEX AND THE CITY! Woo hooo hoo! Yippy! Great humour. Loved it, it's funny. Pretty clothes and hair and shoes! And a really big eye opener for me too, made me more receptive to what's going on outside the world, from my little nutshell here. So that's pretty much about it for my Thursday. Engrossed with Sex, oops.. I meant Sex and the City. *chuckles*


FRIDAY, 1st OCTOBER 2004
11:00am - @ home
I'm a bad gal cum daughter. It's my Mummy's birthday today! And to think I dare go out instead of staying home to accompany/celebrate my Mum's birthday. But all for a good cause. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUMMY!!

2:00pm - @ an Interview
My Dad got me to my interview at his friend's office. Through the interview I'm to try get a job in that company. Hell, I don't even know what's the post I'm applying for either. And the funny thing is, they haven't thought of a job title for it yet. Bummer. The job scope sounds very taxing, something like creating and maintaining the company website while keeping track of the traffic and site hits, monitoring the site and incoming enquries etc. And to cope with some admin work and customer service via emails and stuffs. My Gwad! I've never done anything like this. So pray hard for me then peeps! Not sure if I would be happy if I do get such a job. But beats nothing, worth giving it a shot since it sounds challenging. Yeah right, challenging. Oh Gwad~

5:30pm - REDS @ Suntec
Finally decided to snap off the unruly hair of mine. Greg, my hairstylist, gave me a slight trim which is pretty slight that it takes one observant enough to notice it. Well, for sure I'm that so-called observant one. Haha! Well, at least my hair felt much more controlled. [Okay, sounds like I'm only trying to deceive no one but I. Okay, just kidding. Whatever.] Lisi came after I finish my cut. We snap pics of me and ourselves. It's like becoming a ritual or something, I had to snap a pic or 2 or more of myself in the new cut to commemorate the snipped hair. Hahaha...

7:45pm - Plaza Singapura
After grabing a quick bite at KFC [the uncle behind the counter who served us was really friendly, but he talks too much. More actions and less words please!], we rushed off to catch the New Police Story starring Jacky Chan. Thought we [together with Marz, Mingli, G, Zhang Jun] were almost late for the 8pm show. Lucky for us, there were too many advertisment/trailers before the show. [Imagine 20mins of those] The movie was nice and funny too, so many young cute guys acting in the show. *drools* Daniel Wu's looking great as ever, haha. :p


SATURDAY, 2nd OCTOBER 2004
10:50am - ECP [East Cost Park]
Weee Yeee heee! Hell it's been so many months since I gone blading! Lucky for me, Jacky had the time to get into some blading action. Boy, I'm not as good as I used to be man. I can't go as fast as I used to either. *Shrugs* Got tired after awhile into blading, had to take a number of rest. Wonder what ever happend to my stamina man?! It's still lovely to feel the wind brushing past my face! Not to mention I had a 2 or 3 small falls, nothing serious and no scars, think it's just the rust. Haha... Think I should try do more blading some time.

1:30pm - Old Airport Road Hawker
A pity Duke couldn't join us for our blading session [over time at work]. We called him to join us for lunch, too bad he ain't free. So it's left with Jacky and I to feed our growling tummies. The chicken rice I had was yucky. We shared rojak. It was great. But the Q was long. You even had to take a Q number to wait for your turn to order. Gosh, when did ordering food at a hawker centre become so high-tech? Made me felt like we were visiting the clinic or something. Lol...


SUNDAY, 3rd OCTOBER 2004
7:30pm - Paradize Centre
Dad brought my Mum, bro and I to Tao's Morden Pacific Cuisine at Paradize Centre to have a mini post b'day celebration for my Mum. Under $30 per pax, we get to enjoy a 7 course set dinner. The waiter and waitress who served us were cute and had a real sense of humour. It had been a really enjoyable meal. Think I won't mind going there once in a while with friends or family. :) Good place to have a mini celebration too, we can indulge ourselves with the tasty 7 courses. The starters, soups, entrees, desserts, beverages rocks! I really loved all the dishes, well you can say that.



P.S. PHEW~ I finally made it to the end. Very draining to type out the 7-in-1, haha.. so please pardon any spelling and/or grammer mistakes. Signing off then. Tata~

overwhelmed

I ended up crying for almost half an hour. Hell, I haven't any idea when was it I last had such a cry. Guess all the past and present emotions gathered all poured out at once tonight. I'm still weeping a little now as I type. Am trying to cool myself down.

I was so bored! So mad! So frustrated! I don't even know what word to use. My parents insisted that I went along with my Dad to his friend's new place for housewarming. I really didn't want to, but they kept insisting. Damn! My mum wants me to go yet she didn't want to follow along to keep me company. So in the end I ended up there alone sitting in one lonely little corner for hours. All by myself while my dad was sitting somewhere else chatting happily away with all those uncle and aunties about topics not of my interest. I don't even know 99% of the people around and vice versa. They don't talk to me and vice versa. What's worse was that there wasn't much nice shows on TV. Stupid Korean love drama which ain't my cup of tea. Imagine sitting there for hours doing nothing when in fact you could have been home reading a book or something. Argh!!!!

Next time I don't wanna be seen at such "parties" again if I'm just gonna be ending up alone all over again. *sobs*

Even though I'm consider lucky to have an okay family, deep down I really hate my family though I never really express this out to anyone. Sometimes I really hate how my dad only has golf in his eyes and pays no attention to his children, wife and family. Money can never buy happiness. I may seem cheerful, happy, crazy and silly at times like some clown, in fact I am not what you think I am. I am a complete opposite. I shun away from contacting friends. I do not want to put on the act of being happy 24/7. I'm tired. I just wanna be alone even though I really know how bad such loneliness can get to you. It will be nice sitting by the coast or beach watching the sun set as wind blow across your face, hearing the splashing waves. That would be comforting now.