my equation

I guess it's been quite a while yeah? A lot has happened, I'm still the same old same old. A girl waiting for her prince in the fancy little world of her own. I seriously do not know what's wrong with me! Why am I so protective of myself - on one hand closing up and not wanting to get hurt and yet on the other hand getting my heart broken by all the wrong choices of men. I seriously do not understand myself. Even though I've told myself not to run away, and there I go sprinting off. I'm really tired and it really has taken a toll on life and work which is no good at all. Totally not a good sign. But I do not know how to stop this and get myself out of it. I've sunk so deep in that it's become part of me. To be living without it is like losing a part of me. Sigh. Terrible. If possible I wanna take a time off and go blading by the coast back home again; sitting by the beach and have all the time in the world to think about things and myself. But would I really have such a time? I'm always busy running about like a mad woman.

I tried but I failed. I do not know how to communitcate. I seriously have to forget about POF totally. Would a guy not want to be in contact with a girl he could grow to fancy and know? My equation for knowing if the guy can be someone potential may have been proven wrongly here then.

POTENTIAL GUY = HAPPY + COMFORTABLE (when together with)

That's my equation. I must say I just realised there's more to the equation than it seems. This equation is true if you want to know if a particular guy can be someone potential. But here's when the extra bit comes into the whole equation.

AFFIRMATIVE POTENTIAL GUY = HAPPY + COMFORTABLE (when together with) X 2 WAY TRAFFIC

It takes two hands to clap. Why haven't I remembered! So what if I'm really feeling happy and comfortable and able to be myself with POF? I've tried clapping but he's not voluntarily returning the clap. That's when it is time to let go! Past experiences have taught me to try learn taking it easy 'cause there's really no point getting all upset about. And I didn't even cry over it - tears won't flow out. I'm just numbed. Amazing. But still it had been a great time and lovely memory. 不在乎天长地久,只在乎曾经拥有.对吗?


I think I'm more upset over the fact that I can't find my CDs of photos of the last few years!!!!! All my photos with close friends and family and travels!!!!! Triple sigh. Now that's what I call depressing, more upsetting and heart breaking to think about rather than over some guy. Sigh.