It hurts...

It hurts ... my throat hurts
It hurts ... I'm coughing quite alot
It hurts ... I'm drowning my throat constantly with water
It hurts ... hoping the water silence those coughs
It hurts ... my throat is like another case of Tsunami
It hurts ... to see so many dead from the actual Tsunami
It hurts ... to see people lossing their love ones to the Tsunami
It hurts ... to be without that special someone
It hurts ... I'm feeling lonely and empty
It hurts ... I'm feeling all but an empty shell
It hurts ... where is the love?
It hurts ... LIFE sucks at times!

It hurts ...
That's what I used for my msn nick for these days. Thanks friends who messaged me in MSN upon seeing that nick. But I didnt bothered to explain why I'm hurt, just simply replied that my throat hurts. Of course that's the truth but not the whole truth. Haha...

The News has been reporting about the Tsunami updates alot these few days. It's really saddening to hear about all the deaths and lost of lives, increasing numbers with each passing day. Dead bodies about, foul smell about. *sigh* Bless 'em all.

shivering cold

Think I'm falling sick again. Yes, again!

After staying over night at a friend's place on Christmas night, I slept through out the whole of my Sunday. Only waking up in the night for dinner before heading back to bed and slept through till the morning. I felt so darn cold! Even hidden totally from head to toe beneath my quilt blanket didn't help much. BrRrrr...

Hate to drag myself out of the bed to get ready for work. Didn't get much done at work today [as usual]. Haha.

Think I might head to bed early tonight too. *Shivers with cold*

Jingle Bells & Wedding Bells

Christmas Eve. Lit up my [well, sorta] first cigarette. Took my first puff from it. Minty after taste. Didn't lit it well, light it up again, took a deeper second puff [bum puff]. Let the inhaled lingered within the mouth for milliseconds before puffing it out like a dragon. And so the stick was passed back to my friend. The whole experience was pretty brief. Nevertheless it's been rather an interesting experience. But I'll still say NO THANKS to smoking and cigarettes. Uh uh uh, NO! Smoking is bad for ya! Lungs Killer! Kids and peeps, stay away from drugs!

Actually my first encounter with lighting up a cigarette dates back as far to when I was still a little kid of like age 5 or 6, I was only in kindergarten. Ho ho ho... The mean and evil Uncle driver of the school bus tried to educate us kids on cigarettes. I was most probably the most daring kid on board, and probably the only stupid one who stepped forward towards that stick of drugs. I can't remember if I did light up that stick or even took a small puff from it, but it was there and then that I first learnt how a cigarette is actually lit. And I'm actually proud to admit I know how one's lit since I was a kid [I dont smoke though]. Hahahaha!

Okay, 'nuff said about cigarettes. I attended my ex-colleague's wedding dinner at Grand Shanghai this Xmas Eve. The place was beautiful and unique. But it's a pity that the table I and ex-bosses and ex-colleagues were seated hadn't really a good view of the stage. The food was alright. And at the end of it all, I forgotten to bring the chocolates given, home! Argh! Anyhow, the wedding couple looked really great, fantastic! The bride looking like a Princess, and I loved her gowns. Pretty like a Princess. Yes, think I've mention about her looking like a Princess many times. Princess. Princess. Princess. Ah, dream come true for her.

It's great to be catching up with those peeps at the wedding. Hell long a time since we all had a gathering. Thanks to this wedding.

Last but not least, MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL! Have yourself a merry little Christmas! La la la la la...

P.S. I "drew" this Xmas Greeting myself, hope you all like it. Enjoy. ->>>

The Rat Race

On your mark! Get set! GO!

*BANG*

And so the rat race begins, with Angela in the lead. Will she come in first? Or maybe a last?

Today marks the first day at work, finally after six full months of rotting and lotsa slacking and stoning in front of my TV, of my computer. Well, I'll still be facing the computer in the days to come, just at a different location. Haha!

The place I'm sitting at now is pretty good. Nice big empty table with nothing but the flatscreen, keyboard, mouse, and the telephone. The window to my right, the wall behind my back, colleagues in front and to the left in the room. Great, I've got good enough privacy in my corner. I could even sneak in online during certain hours to play my game. Ho ho ho. But don't think I will be that free once things start coming in for me to do. I'm gonna have to start designing some designs tomorrow at work. I started with a ilttle bit of stuffs today. So far things are still pretty cool. Hope I won't have a tough time trying to crack my brain for the designs [think I already am. Dang!]

Anyway the colleagues are pretty cool and easy to mingle with. The room where I am in, are where all the sales people are in. Great thing is, most of the time they won't be around as they will be running about, out of the office. Yippy! Even more privacy. Guess I better not be happy too soon. Hope I'll be able to do well [since there won't be anyone to guide me as I go along with the web/print stuffs, for I'm a one-man-team coordinating with the sales and IT side, etc.], 'cause I'm feeling the stress already. Oh well... Shall take things as they come along then. La la la la la.. gotta learn how to destress myself!

An End to Slacking Days

Within 55 minutes, I received another call. It's from a recruitment agency. They said they received my resume sent last week, on the 22nd. Well, it really took 'em some time to call me up eh. Perhaps they are gonna hook me up with some interview. Too bad, for I told 'em I've found a job. 52 minutes before, my future employer called me and said I've got the job! YES!

Well, you see... I went for this interview last Wednesday morning. Thursday morning, the boss called me up, told me they thought my portfolio was pretty weak, the [web] designs were simple and nothing outstanding. *shrugs* Low morale and confidence, I felt. But, hope is not lost! She said I will be given a chance to propose 2 designs for a certain project and they shall assess it to see if I'll pass and get the job. Well, something like that. Pretty pressurizing though. So I gave my best shot and got it done and sent on Friday night. So this afternoon, she called and said they were pretty pleased with what I've designed and congratulated me for getting the job! [Phew! I'm glad they were pretty pleased with my design.] YES!

I called up Lisi the very next moment after I hung up the phone with my future boss. Have to thank her and let her know about the good news. I was still expressing my concerns about this job's interview to her not long ago. Guess if not for her, I won't be able to get a chance to come across this job opportunity. Got the contact through her friend. So BIG thank you my dear gal! Maybe it's time for some ramen? Hee! YES!

Bye bye to my jobless days. Bye bye to my slacking days. Bye bye to my freedom! I'm finally working once more. Starting work this coming Wednesday, 1st Dec. NO! HAha! Kidding! YES!

So that means I only have one day of freedom left. Boo hoo hoo.. I'm gonna miss ya, my darling Mr Freedom. It's been a lovely 6 months being with ya. Sorry we didn't last long together, now I belong to Mr Money. Haha! Sorry, I'm not trying to be materialistic/money minded. But we all do need Mr Money to survive. YES!

Maybe I'll be getting the other CDs I've been aiming for! Haha! The jazzy jazzy, chill out compilations from inner Resort. Yummy! I wanna get the X'mas compilations from them too. Will be nice to play it for this festive season. I love Christmas most, just a pity there ain't white Christmas here. And maybe I'll get the Linkin Park with Jay-Z one, Collision Course. Keep hearing it over the radio, sounds nice. Hee hee, money coming in means money going out. However I'll try to save up as much as I can. Might have plans to go travelling or backpacking next year or so. :) YES!

No more waking up at 12 o'clock. No more sleeping at 5am. Haha... Pray I'll get used to working life again, in the busy city center at Raffles Place. Pray I'll get along with the new colleagues. Pray I'll be able to handle my new job duties and tasks, and not freak out. Time to get moving with the rushing life. Time to get a life once more. End to slacking days has arrived. Saddening. But happy that I've started moving on into another phase in life. YES!

Yucks!

I've never felt more disgusted ever in my whole life!

The cap to my bottle of facial toner, slipped out of my hand, bounced onto the wet floor and dived straight into the toilet bowl. Bull's eye! It decided that it needed a little swim, I figured. I'll give it a 10 out of 10 for that perfect dive! DAMN! Why there of all places to land?! Jesus!

And to make matter worse, I don't really wanna talk about the disgusting bit, but I have to, to make my point out. Sorry folks. My bro shitted before I used the toilet. The flushing system in the bathroom ain't that strong, so sometimes you have to flush like 2 or 3 times to get all the shit out to sea. But you have to wait for some time before the tank refills with water for flushing again. Sigh. So the sight of the water in the toilet bowl ain't crystal clear. Okay, think you should more or less get my point of disgusting here. Don't wanna eleborate more, appetite spoiler. Darn! Damn it! My poor cap! I had such a hard time fishing it out of that pit. Yucks!!!!

Disinfection does not seems to work for this case [I mean for the cap]. Had to wash my hands like crazy. Erm hmmm, of course I didn't use my bare hand to get the cap out! But the idea of getting your hands in there [not the crystal clear kinds] is enough to hurt. Haaha. Yucks! Gross!

Lucky I had a spare empty bottle to transfer the remaining facial toner to. I threw away the cap and bottle.

keeping left

You know how it is that people always like blocking the paths on the escalator here? Unlike London, whereby the left lane [think so] on the escaltors will always be left cleared for racing climbers. Yep! But that ain't the case here in Singapore. Guess we're so strong, I mean we have such a strong bonding with one another, that's why we always like to stand side by side and hog both left and right lanes on the narror escalator. All thanks to unity, you can say that again. Well, that's how we are brought up, selfish and haughty. Shame on me to say that of my fellow countryman, but I believe it's very true to a certain extent. A black sheep amongst us all make hell lots of of a big difference. Don't worry, I ain't that black one, I'm just a grey one. Haha.

We really are a 'FINE' city [as known to many]. Yep, FINE alright. Littering, fine $500. Spitting [in public], fine $500. Jaywalking, fine $50. Yeah, you get the ironic picture. In recent years, the government has been trying to educate us to be good citizens: keeping to the left side of the escalator, making the right side clear for those who wants to pass. Good thing there's no "fine" law enforced for this, otherwise it would really be such a sight. I can't bear to imagine, definately gonna make a real laughing stock to boo on. Haha...

There's posters and signs assigned near/at the escalators, saying, "Please Keep Left". I doubt anybody ever notice those [other than me]. Kinda big waste to the efforts. But I gotta take my hat off the the MRT station near my place. This morning while I was heading towards the escalator, there I saw a sign hanging on a stand by the electric stairs. It read, "Please Keep Left Unless Overtaking". Can't help but love the humour contained. Wonder what next. "No Speeding"? "Accident Area, Please Slow Down"? "Cautious, Children Crossing"? Ha ha ha.. I'm feeling so darn ticklish now. Oh my God...

slow slow Monday

Sitting alone on the big, comfy, red, cushioned armchair, slowly absorbing the atmosphere of the late Monday morning. Slowing taking in small sips of my caramel cafe latte, slowing savouring its bitter sweet aroma. Notice how I keep using 'slowly', 'slow'? Ah... I just love such slow days, where it seems like time has stand still and you can slowly go about the day at your very own sweet pace. Haven? I beg to differ. It's a pity I don't have a laptop with me, that's 'cos I don't have one to begin with. If not it might have been perfect. I would be like Carrie Bradshaw in Sex and the City, typing on her laptop in starbucks or something for her sex columns in some weekly newspaper. But the key point here ain't about writing for sex columns. Hell no! I'm Angela for God's sake. Haha. Why did I even drag Carrie into the picture?

So there I sat, at Pacific Coffee, with my coffee. HMV is just across the walk way. You can just hear 'em play all sorts of music, free. Yes, freedom of music. But neh, thanks but no thanks, for I had ATB playing for me on my discman. What a great way to energize the start of your day.

And so I sat, slowly appreciating my cuppa latta while watching the crowds of shoppers briskly walking past before my eyes. Perhaps I should do this more often. I think this makes a good perfect setting for some inspirational writing. Tsk tsk... Think a piece of nice warm cake would make it even better.

falling prey to...

Think I'm falling prey to sickness. All sorts. CHOY! CHOY! CHOY! Lol. Better not joke about the all sorts. *touch wood*

I'm having a pretty sore, sore throat now. Been trying to drown that throat with lotsa water, herbal tea, lozenges, blah blah blah. Am afriad I might fall prey to the Flu Monster too. Got a couple of sneezes every now and then. Hope I didn't catch it from my brother or friend. I don't wanna fall sick at such a time like this!!!. The festive season is coming. I wanna have fun! Think I better tuck in early for these few nights, and try to take good care of myself.

Oh yeah, in case you haven't watch the movie, The Incredibles, do go watch it. It's really fabulous! I really dig it! Loved it! Awesome! So do go catch it if you haven't already. Hee.

Okay, think I better go take some cough medicine and a big rest. Tata~

my other dad

Yesterday was Boon Siong's birthday. I always call him 老爸 [lao ba - another way of calling Dad in Chinese]. He's my other dad. Haha, not my real dad, but a classmate from polyhood days. Haven't any idea how did this father-daughter thingy came about. I'm his eldest daughter, while Trixy is his second daughter.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY 老爸 !!! - 16th Nov -

I gave Boon Siong's my [real] Dad's old Pentax camera. How cheapo neh neh of me man! But it's thoughts that count, ain't it? *sly smirk*

So I met the birthday Dad up for dinner last night, Sipei joined us too. It's been a really long time since I last caught up with her. We three chatted lots over carrot cake and tea and coffee at Starbucks afterwards. Topics mostly revolving around work, driving lessons, polyhood days. Bitching and gossiping about our lecturers, coursemates and those 3 weeks/months projects. Lol. Yakkaty yakkaty yak! Found out lotsa stuffs that I've been missing out when I was back in polytechnic. Darn, I was such an innocent and naive girl back then. Haha, and I still am now. *grinz*

It's been a really fun time, though all we three did was just talk and talk and talk and gossip. Tsk tsk. It's doesn't matter how we should celebrate together, it's the company that matters. A nice chat over nice cakes and drinks companied by friends, that's good enough. Good example will be one such similiar session over the past weekend with my secondary school girl friends at our all time fav hang out place, Dome Cafe. We all met up to have a mini post-birthday celebrations for two of the gals. All shared jokes, dreams and updates while sipping to our cups of tea. Ah, what great pleasures. Is this a good or bad thing? Are we all growing old? Old as in we don't go creating havoc anymore, but sitting at some nice quiet place sipping to tea and munching on cakes while chatting the whole day away. Great way to chill out. Haha. What ya think?

The Love Verdict

"没办法，谁叫你是我的女儿。"
[Well, what to do, who asked you to be my daughter.]

That's simply my dad's reply when I begged for his forgiveness with regards to the scratches I caused his precious car. I can tell the signs of heart breaks from the look on his face. Aww. He didn't said anything else after that. Guess he has to witness the scratches before deciding how broken his heart shall be. Guess I've gotten too overly worried since that day. And guess I'm lucky to have such a doting dad. Hmm, so let me see, what should I get him for X'mas then?

Yesterday, Trixy finally reached Germany to be reunited once again with her lover rabbit, Flo. Hee hee. How sweet when she told me that Flo appeared in the airport waiting for her with a rose in hand. Aww, that's so sweet! Wonder if I would ever have such a scene happening to me? La la la.. I'm dreaming of a white Christmas. Opps, strayed off point. Anyway, we the Fab4 chatted on MSN together for the whole night! Hell, it's been such a long time, ever since Trix left for her HolidayMaker in the UK. Boy, if only we 4 could hang out together again soon. Missing Trixy lots.

I plead guilty

I'm tired and extremely guilt ridden, and in very low spirits right now. Felt even worse earlier on. *shrugs*

Not sure how I'm to explain the situation nor how did it exactly happened. To cut it short, now the left corner of the front bumper area of my dad's car has new bad scratches that's as bad looking as the wound I'm having on my right leg! Paint came off, there's grey patches of scratched marks. Fortunately there ain't dents. *sigh* Blame it on my recklessness and carelessness, I bumped into the rear of a parked car while I was trying to turn into the parking lot or something. So it was a bumped, scratched and run accident. Damn. I felt so bad for getting my dad's car into such an accident! That stupid car! It was parked illegally [don't know how should I describe how that car was parked] in the car park, otherwise I would have been a happy girl now. *double sigh* Not much point getting upset over it like spilled milk eh?

Anyway my dad's out of town now, he won't be back till Sunday night. Think if he sees the scars on his car on Sunday, I'm afraid he might faint. I'm feeling so guilty, it was my fault for getting into such trouble. *sobs* Hope the repainting of that bit for the car won't hurt my pockets when my dad sends me the bill. Oh well... think I better go rest. I feel frail.

Avril Lavigne - My Happy Ending

My Happy Ending
Avril Lavigne

Lets talk this over,
It's not like we're dead,
Was it something I did,
Was it something you said?

Don't leave me hanging,
In a city so dead,
Held up so high,
On such a breakable thread.

Pre-Chorus*
You were all the things I thought I knew
and I thought we could be...

Chorus*
You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be but we lost it
All of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending,
So much for my happy ending.

You've got your dumb friends,
I know what they say,
They tell you I'm difficult,
But so are they.
But they don't know me,
Do they even know you?
All the things you hide from me,
All the shit that you do.

Pre-Chorus*

Chorus*

It's nice to know that you were there,
So thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one.
It's nice to know we had it all,
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done.

Chorus* X 2

So much for my happy ending
So much for my happy ending

---

Oh Oh Oh Oh. So much for my happy ending. Oh Oh Oh Oh. So much for my happy ending. Those words kept playing back and forth in my mind. I heard this not too new song of Avril's on the radio few nights ago while I snugged up in bed trying to catch my sleep. And I really loved the lyrics. They are so darn nice. I ain't really much of an Avril fan, except the fact that I simply adore that sexy black dark eye-makeup of hers! [I've always wanted my eyes done up like that too, but I believe I'm just gonna end up looking like some fashion disaster in that.] But I do think her songs are really very meaningful. Nice songs, nice music too. Can't help but fall in love with this particular song. And I just gotta grab this ablum of hers!


Yesterday there I was with Syndy in Gramophone at Paragon, Orchard Road. A pity Lisi had to leave early for her X'mas play rehersal. So there we were in the CD shop for nearly 2 hours. Wow! Browsing through the CDs and sampling our ears to the wide ranged Jazzy, Lounge, New Age Music, etc. My main aim was just to get Avril Lavigne's Under My Skin album, but was also tempted to get a really cool CD for chilling out. Haha. After we made our purchases, the cool sales guy in Gramophone saw that Syndy and I seem interested in those lounge kinda music, tempted us with even more cool jazzy lounge music. Damn him! Damn damn damn! In the end I bought one and Syndy bought one too from Inner Resort's compilations. Mine's called Jazzdelicious, her's called Moonlight Lounge. The Moonlight Lounge one is more chilled in a romantic and sensual atmosphere. I loved it but could only afford getting one for the time being. Am gonna borrow from Syndy to savour. Hee hee. So at the end of the night, we were happy shoppers with a hungry tummy. Haha. Ended up having our late dinner at McDonald's. [I haven't had Mc' for ages]


inner Resort presents Jazzdelicious
12 songs
This compilation is just too cool to be missed! Every song is unique in its own way and it will defintely appeal to electronica and jazz fans. Smooth and funky nu jazz instrumentations. A melting pot of Laid back beats world rhythms and urban sound. Featuring remixes of Sarah Vaughan's 'Lover Man' and McCoy Tyner's 'Blue Bossa' by U.S producer Jazzelicious.

Aneroxia Nervosa

Aneroxia Nervosa
Written by Angela [who is none other than I ]


STOP! I said stop! Stop feeding yourself!
Start starving yourself! Yeah!
Eventually you'll loose em' weights!
YEAH! yeah! yeah!
And left with all but skin and bones!
COOL! That's the way! Yeah!


Chorus*
Stop feeding and start starving! Yeah!
Puke em' all out! Puke em' all out!
YEAH! that's the way! Yeah!
Puke em' all out! Puke em' all out!
Stop feeding and start starving! YEAH!
PUKE!


Start starving yourself! Yeah!
Heard me? I said start starving yourself!
Puke em' all out right after you eat!
YEAH! That's the way! Yeah!
STOP! Stop feeding yourself!
Aneroxia Nervosa! NO NO NO! Aint what I am!
You're a FOOL to think that WAY!

Chorus* x 2

Anorexia Nervoxa! NO NO NO! Ain't what I am!
PUKE!

---

Cool eh, ain't it? I wrote this song, well if you can call this a song. Haha! Inspiration all thanks to Lisi, as she said she's gonna go on a diet to shed off extra fats. Think it be cool if she follows the advices from this song? Haha. Guess I was really madly insanely bored. Guess I got too bored with facing my homepage which is progressing way behind schedule.

Wonder if this song would make it big?! Haha. Okay, I'm dreaming once more, as always. But it's good to dream, if not life will be too boring. I was hoping to have the music to this song go towards those kinda music like Linkin Park and Avril Lavigne. Underground band? Punk? Lotsa drumming? Electric guitar? Shouting like Linkin Park? Those words in Caps would sound good for the shouting bit. Lol. Whatever. Don't steal my copyright for this then! Haha! [As if anyone would turn these words into music]

Sorry is all too late

Wayne,"Sorry for what I did to you but I really have my own difficulties."
- sent 9th November at 1.02am

I didn't reply. For I think there's nothing left for me to talk about with him. He makes me feel that he's just some childish guy trying to get back into good books. I rather spend my time reading novels. Haha. Well, don't ask me what's it he did to me. I haven't any idea. But the best thing he did to me was to leave me. No! I rather put it this way, the best thing I ever did was to leave that whole relationship. I'm happier now. Hope there shan't be anymore blogs about this guy. Tsk tsk.